Through the haze of disapproval
I starve myself
Stuffing my face in stealth
Not possessing the courage
to throw it all up
A never-ending cycle
In which I am stuck
Fasting for days
A desperate measure
To feel somewhat okay
I want to lose more weight
what else should I not state?
I should go and get help
I don't want to deal with myself
So young and so set in my ways
Recovery pops in but never stays
I may be at a higher weight
More fuel for my self-hate
I will never be small enough
"Boo-hoo, your life is so tough!"
I feel like an attention-seeking bitch
"Haha, see her fat jiggle and twitch!"
I am not worthy of getting better
"Starving herself? Psh, let her!"
"She could stand to lose a few pounds,"
Yes, until I stop looking like a clown
This is nobody's fault but mine,
Be patient; I am running out of time
Sooner or later I will be dead
Nothing else for me to dread