Let me guess. You took one look inside the post op ward of a MASH unit and saw maybe twenty or fifty of our very own US Army troopers sitting on the beds and puking big time into their assigned buckets. Am I right? Well, that's what you get for bumping into one of those three man fart squads by mistake.

And I ought to know because I made the mistake of hiding from the enemy inside one of those tunnels that I had no way of knowing that the top brass would let themselves send those overweight time bombs into in order to flush out Osama bin Laden and the rest of those Al-Qaeda dumbs pricks.

The only problem with that idea is that I made the mistake of sneezing my head off. And when they heard the sneeze, those walking disease factories thought I was an enemy soldier, turned around and started letting loose the farts. That made me haul my ass out of there.

And let me tell you right now that I was lucky enough to get out of that cavern of poison doom by way of a backdoor. Otherwise, I would've done more Leggo My Eggo into a pail. Anyway, I just got my orders and my bags are all packed. That's right. I'm on my way home. And if I ever do see any one of those fart squads again, it'll be way too soon.