People always talk about love
From the day we watch out first Disney movie
Love, love, love is everything
You can't be happy without it.
The movie can't end until that final kiss
The movie can't begin until
Their eyes meet
Their hands brush
Their tips touch
I've never met anyone I loved.
I've wasted the years on pointless crushes
A folder on the computer full of pictures
But George Harrison and Linda Hamilton
Can't fill this hole.
Their unblinking eyes stare out at me from the LED screen
But their electronic hearts don't beat
Like mine does.
I wanted love so badly,
That when my friends told me to date someone I didn't love,
I did it.
I thought that I could learn to love her
But the touch of her eyes didn't make my heart skip
I didn't lie awake at night wishing she was with me
And when I kissed her, I felt nothing.
When she broke up with me two weeks later,
I was relieved.
So I went back to my old ways
Staring at a cute boy from across the room
Too afraid to look him in the eye.
Wondering in vain if that cute girl was queer
Knowing she never was.
And so I watch from the sidelines
As everyone else gets showered with promposals
As everyone else complains about the relationship drama
That I wish I had.
But it's okay.
Because when I'm drowning, flailing, grasping,
I'll reach out and take my own hand
And pull myself out of the waters of despair.
I'll uncurl myself from this ball lying behind my bed
And realize that I don't need it anyway.