Love

People always talk about love

From the day we watch out first Disney movie

Love, love, love is everything

You can't be happy without it.

The movie can't end until that final kiss

The movie can't begin until

Their eyes meet

Their hands brush

Their tips touch

They

fall

in

love.

I've never met anyone I loved.

I've wasted the years on pointless crushes

A folder on the computer full of pictures

But George Harrison and Linda Hamilton

Can't fill this hole.

Their unblinking eyes stare out at me from the LED screen

But their electronic hearts don't beat

Like mine does.

I wanted love so badly,

That when my friends told me to date someone I didn't love,

I did it.

I thought that I could learn to love her

But the touch of her eyes didn't make my heart skip

I didn't lie awake at night wishing she was with me

And when I kissed her, I felt nothing.

When she broke up with me two weeks later,

I was relieved.

So I went back to my old ways

Staring at a cute boy from across the room

Too afraid to look him in the eye.

Wondering in vain if that cute girl was queer

Knowing she never was.

And so I watch from the sidelines

As everyone else gets showered with promposals

As everyone else complains about the relationship drama

That I wish I had.

But it's okay.

Because when I'm drowning, flailing, grasping,

I'll reach out and take my own hand

And pull myself out of the waters of despair.

I'll uncurl myself from this ball lying behind my bed

Stand up

And realize that I don't need it anyway.