What can one say about mental stress? It's unwanted, and crippling. A social anchor to those whom experience it. But, on top of already extreme social anxiety, it really hurts a person. It's not something you just get over. It's a mental instability that needs immediate attention.
Yin knows this feeling all to well. Of age sixteen, pretty much living by herself in day-to-day life, always in fear of what people think of her.
She wishes to be her best friend, Yang, a girl of seventeen, held back a year in school, but still doesn't care who's eyes are on her.
Yin's parents had always held of high standard, even when they were away. They expected her to perform well under any circumstance. But her parents didn't realise what pulled beneath the surface with her, starting in seventh grade. The work began to get increasingly more difficult, and Yin was beginning to get less receptive of the information. Nevertheless, her grades never faltered, always being afraid of how her parents would react.
Yang, however, never really cared. Yin met her in ninth grade, where she was being bullied by two older boys.
"Please, leave me alone," Yin whispered shyly. She was afraid to speak up for herself. They didn't leave. They continued to torment her well into the freshman year, but it was eventually to the point where they smacked her.
She yip in pain, but nothing more than that. She didn't tell her parents, she was afraid of the situation. No one knew what happened to her going into the school hallways. But one thankful day, Yang happened to be walking to class at the same time.
Yang jumped into action, tearing the boy's hands away, and giving them both cheap shots. They were both on the ground, and Yang offered her hand to Yin, to help her up.
"It's okay," Yang soothed, "they're taken care of. They won't bother you, again."
Yin took her hand meekly, still shaken from the experience. "Th-thanks," she stuttered quietly, "I-I'm Yin."
Yang smiled, something that was rare. Yin had seen her around, her black hair, barely up-to-code clothing, and lip piercing somewhat menacing to Yin. In today's world, they were good friends, and Yin smiled at that memory.
"I can't believe how afraid I was," she said aloud, leaning over the fence of her back patio. The sun was rising, and Yin smiled at the beautiful sight in front of her. She sighed, knowing full well her mind was in too much turmoil to be in any condition to stop and enjoy the world.
She meandered back inside, mindlessly going through the motions of getting herself ready.
She stripped down, stepping into the shower, the warm, running water a welcomed feeling. As the water washed over her body, she felt a grin spread across her face, the feeling of stress gone from her mind. She sluggishly reached for the soap, and began to wash her body.
Soon enough, she was ready to leave, but sat in silence for a few moments, contemplating if she should just take a sick day. She knew that she'd have mountains of homework to catch up on, but she'd have a day clear for herself. She hadn't had that in a long time. She hoped and prayed that it'd come some day, but she knew it never would.
She was too shy, too quiet. There'd never come a day when she would be able to take a sick day. Though, she could have the day to go see a therapist, and ask for help. But, she couldn't do that. That'd require telling them what's wrong, and she wouldn't be able to do that.
She stood, and began walking towards the doorway, unknowing for what lay ahead of her for that day. Blindingly running, motioning the same movements everyday.
Yang was sat in class, bored out of her mind at listening to the teacher talk. She began to wonder what Yin was doing right about now. Seventh period, school is almost out. She knew the poor girl was probably stressed as hell about the day that's happened before her eyes. High school was no easy breeze, as Yang had learned back in freshman year. More accurately, the end of freshman year.
However, Yang didn't care. She was just ready to be out of this hell hole. She'd gotten great at looking like she was paying attention, a valuable skill for high school. Something Yin had yet to learn, even in her junior year.
Yang took it upon herself to one day teach her friend how to look like she was paying attention, an invaluable skill for someone such as Yin.
She was snapped out of her trance by the dismissal bell, running out of the classroom with her stuff at light speed. She met Yin outside, smiling at the smaller girl. She had dark circles under he eyes, and they showed against her pale skin. Her white hair was an absolute bird's nest, but Yin wore a smile as a veil.
"Yin, when are you going to be honest with yourself?" Yang asked with an eyebrow raised.
"Wh-what do you mean?" Yin asked. "How can I lie to myself? I'm in my own head."
"I don't mean in the literal sense," Yang groaned. "I mean, stop telling yourself that you're happy this way. You're obviously stressed out of your mind, just take a day or two to rest."
"Heh, I don't need rest. If I take days off, I'll have to make that work up, so I'll take as little sick days as possible."
"Yin, listen to me," Yang began sternly, "you are going to die if you keep this up. You're staying up very late every night to finish your homework that's due next week, you're thinking that if you take a moment to step back and assess yourself, you'll fall behind. I'm asking you this for your own health."
"Yang, I'm fine, stop worrying," Yin soothed. "I'll be fine, I just need to hold out for a few more weeks. Once I finish the summer project, I'll have two months of rest."
"I'm not sure you'll make it to then," Yang said under her breath. "So, outside of schoolwork, what've you been up to?"
"Nothing. It's school, homework, sleep, repeat. My life isn't that interesting, and you know that."
"But it could be."
"I don't want it to be. If anything, I'm fine with the way it is now."
"Don't lie to me, Yin," Yang said sternly. "You want your life to be more interesting, and you know it."
"I can't fit it into my lifestyle. It's just not for me..."
"I'm coming with you today, and you're going to tell me what's on your mind. It's the weekend, you have some free space."
"Thank-you, but nothing is bothering me," Yin lied. "I'm fine with the way things are, and I'd rather you not dictate my life in this situation."
"I'm not trying to," Yang argued. "I'm trying to help you. I'm worried about you, Yin. You don't do anything but work, and I can see the fatigue on your face."
"Huh? I-I'm fine. It's the way I've always lived my life, and will continue to do so."
"It's not healthy," Yang said. "Someone who's always working will tire themselves. You'll work yourself to the bone, and-"
"Is this worrying I hear? From the Queen of Carelessness herself? Never thought I'd see the day."
"Yin, you're my friend. A friend I don't want to lose. Just because I don't care about most things, doesn't mean I can't care about you. You're my best friend, and I don't know what I'd do if I lost you."
"That's very heart-warming, Yang," Yin said, taking hold of Yang's hand. "You're my best friend, as well. And, I hope we can stay this way for a very long time. But, you have to understand, I can't let myself falter. I have a standard to keep, and I have to do my best."
"You're going to fall one day, Yin," Yang said quietly. "I don't want that day to be soon."
"I know you don't, Yang. And I promise, it won't be soon. I have my life under control, everything is okay."
"I'm still coming with you."
It was soon enough that they arrived. Yin unlocked the door, swinging it open, and motioning her hand for Yang to enter first. Yang shrugged and did so, Yin following close behind, and flicking on the light when she entered.
"Well, here you are," Yin stated. "Bit anticlimactic, ain't it?"
"What do you mean "anticlimactic?"" Yang asked. "Just because I've been here before?"
Yin shrugged. "I dunno. You seemed so eager to be here, I didn't know if you were expecting something different."
"I didn't really," Yang stated, "I just wanted to come see how things were holding up around here."
"Yang, you're acting very strange right now."
"Whaddya mean? Strange how?"
"You just seem more... upbeat about everything than normal," Yin said, stepping over her words carefully.
"Hmph," Yang grunted, "I don't see how that's odd. Maybe a bit out of the ordinary, but not to the point of questioning my behaviour."
"There she is," Yin said playfully, "the Yang I've always known.
A small grin played on Yang's lips. She rolled her eyes, the grin not disappearing. Yin soon found herself smiling, glancing over at Yang occasionally as she worked on her computer.
"What're you thinking?" Yin asked.
"Oh, nothing," Yang said, laughter barely holding in, "you'll find out in due time."
"I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that," Yin replied playfully. "Whenever you're quiet, you're scheming, and when you're scheming, nothing goes well for anyone involved."
"Oh, I've thought this through," Yang stated. "For about four months. I'll tell you what's going on tomorrow morning. Mind if I spend the night?"
"Go right ahead. Rare I get company here. As well, don't think my parents will be home for some good time. If you need to be here, you're welcome to stay."
"Man, you're so welcoming and forgiving. Makes me wonder how you'd deal with people other than me."
"Heh, I'd probably kick 'em out, if I didn't know them that well. You only get by 'cause we're friends."
A period of silence passed between them, and neither felt that anything more was necessary to the conversation at hand. Yin was working on a novel she'd been developing in her sparse spare time, and Yang was waiting for the perfect moment.
This moment she was looking for, not far away at all. In fact, tomorrow morning, in the early hours, it'd be perfect. While Yin would be sleepy and dizzy, it'd still make things easier should things go south. Yang didn't expect things to go well, might as well do it when it hurts least.
She couldn't believe the emotion inside of her, something that hadn't existed since she was a very small girl, now coming back in full force. Her best friend was looking ready to pass out, and Yang felt it was a better time than ever. Yin would drop at any point, and if Yang admitted exactly what the gears of her mind had resulted in, maybe it'd light things up for Yin.
It'd only hurt if Yin said "no," because it would prove to Yang that Yin would never change. She theorised that maybe having someone else around to keep her entertained would change the way Yin went about life. She'd have someone to be in a mutual relationship with, have someone to care for, have someone to love. It'd change her point of view, theoretically.
It wasn't meant to completely change everything forever, just try to get Yin to see the light. To see that there needs to be other priorities in life. Of course, it was all theoretical, Yang figured it'd fail pretty hard, given her minimal logic in thinking.
It wasn't long before Yang awoke, realising in her deepest thoughts, she'd fallen asleep. She yawned, sitting up and stretching her arms. How long had it been?
She guessed it was four when she fell asleep, and now it was eight. She looked over at the desk Yin was sitting at, and it didn't look like she moved an inch.
"Hey," Yang called, "have you been sat at that desk for the past four hours straight?"
She watched Yin look down, and her eyes widen. "Y-yes," she stuttered, her face red. She clearly didn't want to admit that.
"Ya maybe wanna take a break? Like, maybe take your eyes away from the screen?"
"I- No, by really," Yin stammered. "I-I'd rather be working on the computer. K-keeps my mind busy."
Yang pushed herself to her feet, and quietly went up behind Yin. Yang wrapped her arms under Yin's and lifted slowly, forcing Yin to stand. She quickly spun Yin around, and whispered, "You need to take a break," before shutting the laptop. "Rest your eyes, Yin. It's been four hours."
Yang pushed a lock of white hair out of Yin's face, smiling down at her friend. Yin gave her a questioning look, unsure of what exactly is going.
"This is more than just odd for you," she stated.
"I think you might just be sleep-deprived. You should go to bed," Yang said quietly.
"But it's only eight," Yin whined, "and there's so much left to do."
"Look at me, Yin. You need sleep to function. Go to bed."
Yin went upstairs reluctantly, knowing her friend was only looking out for her. But she had to wonder, what was Yang scheming? Before, she had that grin, she couldn't hide that she had some sort of idea in her head. Yin became paranoid, afraid of waking up in the morning to find a drunk Yang and her house a mess.
But, Yin put more trust than that on Yang. She was asleep in no time, and a pretty deep sleep, as well.
The door to Yin's room creaked open, and Yang peeked in. She breathed a sigh of relief, her friend was finally asleep. Yang had no idea why she decided to tell Yin at midnight, anymore, but she figured it was for good reason. It wouldn't be an easy thing to admit, but Yang knew she had to.
The feeling inside of her wouldn't go away, and hadn't for the four months it'd been there. She couldn't believe that she'd fall for her best friend, the person who she saved from being bullied in the hallway. But, she was so unintentionally cute, Yang couldn't help it.
She'd never had a girlfriend that was so cute and innocent, usually ones that were dominating, and demanding. She went quietly downstairs, waiting quietly. She thought more about previous relationships. Only recently had she become truly uncaring and dominating. It was a matter that she finally learned what was going on.
She promised herself she wouldn't treat Yin with disrespect, just like her own previous relationships.
"You are better than them," she whispered to herself. "You can do better, it's in your bloodstream. It shouldn't be hard, just be everything they weren't."
She couldn't believe she was having to tell herself this, but thought of Yin being unhappy upset her greatly. And now, it was nine. Three more hours. Yang was pacing by this point, internally panicking about what would happen. She loved Yin dearly, but Yin would probably be weirded out by the situation.
Maybe she was thinking too much. But, even still, it was a major worry.
Hours felt like seconds, and before Yang knew it, it was midnight. She took a moment to take a deep breath, refreshing her mind. It wouldn't be easy, but she decided to just go for it. If things didn't work out, oh well.
She begrudgingly pulled herself up the stairs, quietly opening the door to Yin's bedroom, the white-haired girl inside still asleep. Yang stood at her bedside, taking another deep breath, chanting in her mind "You can do this, you can do this, you can do this..."
She shook Yin lightly, whispering her name, which quite easily awoke the smaller girl.
"Huh?" Yin groaned. "Wh-what's happening?"
"Yin, it's me," Yang whispered. "Look at me."
Yin turned her head to the right, facing Yang. "Eh-what'd you wake me up f-"
She was interrupted by soft lips pressed against her own. Her eyes widened, her face was hot, and she felt herself getting nervous. She didn't know what to do with her hands. She felt a palm on her cheek, a thumb running from her nose to meet the palm.
Oddly enough, Yin didn't want it to end, however, Yang pulled away.
"Heh, sorry," Yang whispered, "I don't know what came over me."
"No, don't apologise," Yin said quietly. "I liked it. How long has that been coming?"
"I, uh, well," Yang stammered, a sheepish grin crossing her face. "F-four months."
Yang looked down, the same grin still spread across her face. Her face was red, and Yin smiled.
"You're cute when you're embarrassed," Yin said, standing. She walked slowly close to Yang, and stood on her toes to kiss her again. "Never change, Yang."
Yang wrapped her arms around Yin, and the smaller girl returned the same motion. It'd been such a worry to Yang, but now she was happy and relieved. Worry was the last thing on her mind as she and Yin embraced. It felt like the two had met all over again. But, it soon hit Yin that she had to be completely honest with Yang. She couldn't imagine her reaction. She probably wouldn't be surprised, but Yin was still afraid of admitting that she wasn't happy with the way she was living.
"Yang," Yin whispered, "I lied to you..."
"What about?" Yang questioned in return, placing her hand on Yin's shoulder.
"I-I'm not happy with this, with the way I live my life. I want help. I want out..."
Yang was silent, their faces close enough to feel one another's breath, and Yang stole a kiss.
"You can only help yourself, Yin," she said quietly. "I can't pull you from this state, you can only help yourself. I wish I had control, so I could help you when I know you need it, not just when you want to admit it. But, I can't do that. That would be wrong of me to do. The fact that you admitted you need help is more than enough to start helping yourself."
"Y-Yang," Yin stuttered, "can't you at least give me direction?"
"No. It's all up to you and the way you want things to go."
Yin was silent, just allowing herself to hold to Yang. Her arms were wrapped tightly around her partner. "I love you," she whispered.
"I love you, too..."
Yin awoke the next morning to the light from the Windows shining into her eyes. She groaned, turning over in bed, her mind a haze. Midnight wasn't a good time for her to be up. But, she did remember what happened in that time she was awake, and she smiled. She never really thought about it too much, but she had always loved Yang, and realised that now.
Yin dragged herself out of bed, finding that Yang was still asleep. She lingered for a moment, observing Yang. She never realised how peaceful and cute the dark-headed girl could be, but now she was asleep. Yin watched a few moments longer, before finally deciding to head downstairs. She changed quickly, not bothering with a shower or to mess with her hair.
Yin lazed on the couch, barely being able to take in just how blissful everything was. She got to be at home, and be with Yang, with no one to bother her. It wasn't long before Yang was down the stairs, and sitting on the opposing end of the couch.
"Hey, so, I have to admit something to you, just as you did to me," Yang said, staring at her feet. "My parents kicked me out. And they kicked me out long before I was in a position to sustain myself. But, what makes me mad, is my brother, who is four years older than me, has yet to be ejected by my parents."
"Well, you can stay here, if it helps," Yin offered. "I mean, I don't know what to tell you about your brother... Maybe your parents don't think he's mature enough to handle himself, so they keep him around?"
"Maybe... either way, it pisses me off to know that I'm allowed to be kicked out, but not my no-good brother. And, plus, not only that, every time I bring a girl home, he tries to hit on her, and get them in bed. It's a really dickish move."
"Well, hopefully I won't have to meet your brother anytime soon..."
"I swear, if we ever have to have dinner with my parents, I will arrange it so that it brother is gone. I wouldn't let him say a word to you."
The two were silent for a few moments. Nothing needed to be said. They smiled at one another, before Yin pushed herself up. Silent on her way, Yang smiled at the smaller girl, something that would soon become a regular activity.
The two silently agreed to just have a lazy day to be by themselves. Everything had happened somewhat suddenly at a very late time, but they both were happy nonetheless. Of course, there'd be question amongst Yin's main friend circle, but she didn't care. She loved Yang either way, and knew that the dark headed girl wouldn't ever intentionally hurt her.
It was a mutual relationship, and both still had truths untold to one another, but neither were ready to share. At the end of the day, they still trusted one another greatly, and that's all that mattered. But, it wouldn't always be that way.
One day, things would be gone at a moment's notice, neither one of them prepared for the road ahead. But, no less, they'd persevere together. They would fly on wings that they both held, work together to perceive every situation as well as they could. They would counteract each other when one was out of hand, and vice versa. And, even before this day, people knew they were a great pair, the best of friends. It was obvious.
However, each was far too shy to admit themselves before now. They both lived otherwise individually quiet existences, but they didn't dislike the idea. Silence wasn't the absolute worst thing to reach the ears of a human being.
If anything, Yang wished for silence above all.
But, that's off track. What matters is that the two shared a harmony that was nearly unbreakable, but surely would be tested. A moment's notice would be all they had to prepare, before the world threw everything it had at then. It was a matter of whether or not they could withstand what was coming. Whether or not that moment's notice was enough.
"I love you," Yin whispered.
"I love you too," Yang replied, each held in one another's arms. "I know, this is all possibly very sudden, but I just couldn't hold in the secret any longer."
"Heh, hey, everything worked out in the end, didn't it?"
"I suppose so. So, do you know when our silence will be broken by your parents?"
"No idea. I'd like to keep it that way."
Just then, there was a knock at the door. Yin pulled away, and went to answer it. Opening the door, she was greeted with her mother's face, who bent down to embrace her daughter.
Yang's eyes widened, he head now a pounding mess, her last thought;
Edit: Cleared up a few spelling errors with the previous version