Today was the day. Graduation day. The time that would finalise their place in the world. Yang was more than ready to be out of high school, and finally be able to move on with her life, and accomplish something. Even if that was minuscule in the eyes of those around her, it'd be her accomplishment.
But it soon occurred to her this would also be the place that her and Yin may split. Where she could watch the shorter girl move away, and go to a college far out of the way. She wasn't sure if she was ready to have to watch that. It would hurt, and maybe she wouldn't be able to let go. Long distance relationships hadn't worked for any of her friends, who's to say it would work out for her and Yin?
Meanwhile, Yin couldn't see any good in the situation. She was about to graduate, become an adult. She'd have responsibilities far great than what she had now, and possibly be leaving Yang. If any colleges came back with scholarship acceptances, she'd have to take them. But that'd mean having to leave the one person who'd been with her for so long.
"It'll be okay," she whispered to herself. "Everything will work itself out, in the end. Even if I end up leaving, I can still visit. We'll make it work."
She knew she was kidding herself, but she wanted to believe it'd be possible. She didn't want to give up on the idea that they could still be together, even with great distance between them. She knew they'd each be willing to give it a try, but she also knew they were destined to fail.
But Yang wouldn't allow her to pass up the opportunity, just to stay. However, Yin was more than willing to stay. She wanted to love Yang forever, and she never wanted it to end.
The dark-haired girl was downstairs, and Yin sat alone in her room contemplating how to solve this predicament. It was getting close to time to leave, and no solutions were coming to her. It was all about to happen, and their relationship would die out.
Yin sighed, and stood to get ready. She knew what was going to happen to their relationship, no matter how much she wanted to ignore it. At the end of this, she'd go off somewhere far away, and Yang would move on.
While she changed, nihilistic thoughts ran through her mind. What happened when she went off to college, and Yang has to stay behind?
She looked at herself in the mirror, the cap and gown being very slightly too big, but it was the smallest that it could be. Seeing what was before her in the mirror made her realise just what reality she was living in. She wanted out. She wanted to go back to high school, go back to those classes, and bring Yang with her. She wasn't ready for the responsibilities that came with going to college and being an adult.
She had to be wary of her appearance, though. She couldn't cry nor quiver, because everyone would notice. Thankfully, she didn't graduate top of her class, so she didn't need to prepare any speeches. She would've broken down for sure.
Leaving Yang would be the hardest thing she would ever have to do. She knew it was inevitable, because all the cliché stories ended this way. One of them goes off to college, leaving the other behind, and they grow distant. They grow distant, and the relationship, while maybe once beautiful and loving, has faded. Maybe they even regret being together. Maybe one of them regrets it, and the other still wishes for that touch that's been long removed from their life.
She feared that last one was the reality that would happen.
She'd come home to find Yang with someone else, and Yin would be all alone. Alone to find jobs to keep herself afloat, alone in the world, when they said they'd be together through thick and thin. And she'd cry herself to sleep every night, missing the black-haired girl who was her first true love.
A first true love that would've been taken away from her before she ever got to fully experience what it was about. Who else would date a nerdy girl like her? Sure, Yang called her cute, but guys didn't want just a cute girl, they wanted someone they could have sex with. That wasn't something she wanted to be thinking about, but the fact that she'd be leaving Yang had sent her mind racing.
She feared never finding someone to accept her for her, once things fell out with Yang. She hoped that her thoughts didn't hold true, and Yang would stay faithful. Because hell and heaven both knew that Yin would follow Yang to the grave. She loved her just that much.
She stepped out of her room, weary from her thoughts. She didn't want to even believe for a second that Yang could be with someone else, but it was so much more likely than it seemed to her.
Yang stepped out of the guest room, and smiled.
"You ready to graduate?" she asked.
"No," Yin responded. "It leaves me with so many questions, and I want answers. Answers that I'm not going to get until it'll be too late."
"What sort of questions do you have?" Yang wondered aloud.
"I wonder what's gonna become of... well, us. This relationship that we've built, the unbreakable bond... is this going to change everything? Is this going to be what finally tears us apart? I can't imagine the day we split, but once graduation is done, it's basically all begun."
"Look, I'm scared, too, but we'll be able to work things out, right? We've come this far, we can't give it all up now. Let's just get through graduation, today. We'll worry about the rest afterwards. Hell, you haven't even checked your letters from those colleges yet."
"Because I'm afraid I was accepted to one, and they're all so far away..."
"It'll be okay. Everything will turn out fine, in the end. You're worrying yourself too much."
"I hope you're right."
The graduation seemed to take an eternity, and both Yin and Yang came home tired and ready to pass out on the couch. Yin was more ready, though, because she had to go through the letters. She dreaded it, knowing that if the perfect opportunity showed itself, she'd have no choice but to take it. The perfect opportunity would take her the furthest away from her loved one, so it wasn't an optimal situation, to her. But Yang wouldn't allow her to decline.
But she craved sleep. She couldn't bring herself to find out she'd gotten accepted to the college that'd been her dream for so long when she was with Yang. It would be the killing blow to it all. She still kept it on her mind, not to forget what was on the to-do list. It still didn't change her attitude, though. She didn't want to have to leave, but she supposed it might've been for the better. It still killed her inside, though.
"Yang, I don't wanna be accepted to a college," Yin groaned.
"It's for your own good, Yin," Yang tried to assure her. "Plus, we'll have breaks where we can see each other, we'll have video chatting, texting, and more. We won't be locked away from each their permanently. You're making a big deal out of this."
"I'm just afraid you'll get tired of all that and move on. I love you, Yang, and I don't want to lose you."
"Look, I love you too much for that. I'd eagerly be awaiting your final return, but I wouldn't be unfaithful. I know you, and I love you."
"It's just all— I— I don't know. I just don't want to leave, I suppose. I feel like me going away could tear our relationship apart."
"Look, I promise you that after six years at college, nothing would change."
"I hope you're right," Yin sighed. "But I need to sleep first. I'll go through those letters later."
"I'm right there with you," Yang replied. "It seems like today has been a long day, when it isn't anywhere close to over. But, oh well..."
They each dragged themselves upstairs, Yang following Yin, to fall asleep in the same bed. Yin's parents were coming home tomorrow, but since they'd been informed about it all, it didn't matter. Before, they'd each be too afraid they wouldn't wake up in time.
Yang lazily sprawled out on the bed, and Yin curled up on top. It didn't take long for each to fall asleep. Once upon a time, dreams would be sweet for Yin, but this little nap was a showcase of the opposite.
She felt herself unable to breathe, suffocating under some sort of pressure, but it was so dark she couldn't even see her hand in front of her as she reached for something, uselessly grasping at something that wasn't there. She wanted to call out for help, but air wouldn't fill her lungs. She tried to gasp for air, but it was in vain.
She shot up, in tears. She'd been crying in her sleep, something that'd never happened before. It was such a surreal experience, she felt like she was truly suffocating, even knowing it was a dream. Meanwhile, Yang was still soundly asleep, as Yin began to worry about her mental health. This had never happened before, what was it all about?
She sighed, remembering those letters she'd have to go through. It was the last thing she'd ever want to do, because it would mean that she'd have to leave the one she cared so much about. But it was inevitable, because if she didn't check them, Yang would, and shove her off to college. She didn't want to go, in truth. Yes, it'd help her more easily find a job, but she didn't want that. She wanted to love Yang, and figure things out together.
Where would Yang be in all of this? Sure, she said everything would stand strong, but was that really the truth? Was there a guarantee that she wouldn't get tired of waiting, and just find someone else to be with? It scared Yin to think of that possibility. She hoped things didn't change.
She stood quietly, and decided it was best to go on ahead to open up the letters, and have a read through.
She sat down at the table, and began with the ones she was least interested in, and set the letters into separate piles. There were only about eight letters to go through, but it'd make things easier when it came time for decision. She doubted he'd get into the one she most wanted, and didn't really want to, anymore. It was halfway across the country, and she didn't any that to be her journey home for the holidays when it came time.
But shortly after going through every other letter, it was down to that one. She'd been accepted to multiple that she'd applied to, arguably of higher standard than the ones that rejected her, but nonetheless accepted. It worried her of what would lay beyond the the envelope of the letter from the one she'd dreamed about before Yang and her had gotten together.
With great hesitation, she opened it, and was soon in tears. Ones of both sadness and happiness. She'd been accepted, but that meant being the furthest away from Yang as she could be. She couldn't turn this down, she'd been dreaming of it for so long. It'd come before she'd even met Yang, and it was too good to pass up.
"Hey Yin," Yang said with a yawn as she stepped onto the floor. "I see you went through the letters. Why're you crying?"
"I— I got accepted t-to my dream college," Yin replied with no emotion. The only hint was her hesitation and stutter. The tears silently rolled down her face, as she knew what was going to happen. All of her fears were going to come true, and she'd be crushed to come home in two years to find Yang with someone else. This was it for them, and there was nothing she could do.
Even Yang's silent, warm embrace didn't comfort her. Tears continued to stream down her face as she knew that it would all be in vain. The one she loved, torn from her because she couldn't be there. Gone away because she just wasn't able to give her the time. She'd try, she'd damn well try. But it would all be for naught.
"It'll be alright," Yang whispered to her. "You need to go. This was before me, and I'll understand. Things won't change between us. We'll just have to change our main forms of communication to compensate."
"I just— I'm so unsure. On one hand, I believe you, because I don't believe you'd ever be able to break my heart, but on the other... I know how things went with you I the past. Maybe that's not a fair judgement, but, it scares me," Yin explained.
"Look, so long as you stay faithful, I will, too."
"It's all so scary, though."
"I know, Yin. I know..."
A year and half had passed. Yin was now a sophomore in college, studying engineering and rocket science. It was absolutely a destructive force for her mind, and she hoped not for her relationship with Yang. She was still at home, patiently waiting. At least, Yin hoped.
There was so much that could be happening behind her back, and she'd never know. She knew that was a possibility, but trusted Yang enough to believe that wasn't going on.
"Are you ever gonna get off that stupid computer and go to bed?" her roommate asked, Yin having been working on editing a project all night.
"No," Yin states in reply. "This is due tomorrow, and no one in my group wanted to help me, so I have to finish it out myself."
"Don't stay up too late. I worry about you, Yin."
"It's appreciated, Jane."
Things went quiet, as Yin heard the top bunk comforter rustle, as the lights had already been turned out. Yin knew she was straining her eyes this way, but she didn't really care. Her no-good partners had decided it was a good idea to give her literally no help with this project, and no less one that would take four times longer to complete by yourself.
Minutes would turn to hours. She started working at 10pm, and it was 1am before she was just about ready to finish up. She glanced up for a brief moments, scanning what was outside the window.
It was a night too cold to bother going out. Not that she would've, anyways, but she could dream. Everything except temperature seemed a bit too perfect in the air, yet she didn't really notice. She couldn't feel what was coming for her, what she'd wanted for so long. She was too wrapped up in her work to realise. Her dorm room was a place of stress for her, and that stress found no end.
She was about ready to fall asleep flat on her face, but the project was due tomorrow, and the rest of the group had done nothing to complete the project. She was the one working, and she'd be sure to let the professor know. At the end of the presentation, she credited herself for everything, seeing as she'd done everything. It seemed petty, but they didn't deserve a grade for going out to parties and getting drunk all week.
"Almost done," she whispered to herself repeatedly, "almost done."
It was one in the morning, and she was still sitting there doing the project. She'd worked all week to get it done, but because she had no help, it took four times longer. Her roommate had told her not to stay up too late to complete it, but she was determined to get this done.
She felt arms wrap around her, and pull her away from the chair lightly.
"N-not yet…" she told whoever's arms they were, "I'm not done yet."
The person attached to those arms stayed silent, and gave up on trying to pull her away. She hit the render button for the video, and made sure that everything was going to be just fine. She stood, and turned around, finding the one she'd missed for oh-so-long, ever since she went off to college. The one she'd so long waited to go back to, had made the effort of coming here.
"Y-Yang..." she whispered, "you're here. How?"
"I figured you needed a little bit of a visit, a bit of a stress relief," Yang replied. "You always seem so distant on the phone and on video chat, I figure it was time to get you emotional."
"I-I'm so glad you're here..."
"I'm glad I'm here, too. I can't stay in your dorm, unfortunately, but I have a place to stay. Your mother has also been really patient with me, surprisingly. I found a job, everything's going great, back home."
"I'm so glad to hear that. I'm so happy to see you. And I'm sorry I have to cut this reunion short, but I'm absolutely exhausted."
"You're over stressing yourself."
"No no, you don't understand, this is college. I can't over stress myself here, I'm always less stressed than I need to be. I'm studying rocket science and engineering, I am absolutely destroyed right now."
"Alright, well I'll go. You need to sleep."
"Will you still be around this weekend?"
"Unfortunately, no. I ha w to go home by the end of the week. I just knew that you weren't being yourself when we were talking by other methods. Had to come to you in person to get some emotion outta ya."
"Heh, well, I guess you got it, eh?"
"Yep. Goodnight, Yin."
It was officially Christmas break, and Yin was ready to be home. She was dropped off nearby by one of her friends, and slowly walked up the snow-covered driveway. It would be a beautiful white Christmas this year. She unlocked the door to come home to a silent house. The lights in the living room were out, and no sound could at all be heard.
She wondered if Yang was even around. Perhaps she'd gone out, or was at a friend's house. But it didn't matter, it was so quaint to see the Christmas tree nicely decorated against the window. The snowfall made it an absolutely breathtaking scene. She started up the stairs, going to her room to set her things down. Once she did so, she slowly went through the house, searching for anyone who might be around. To her surprise, no one was around. Neither her parents nor Yang were home to greet her.
She shrugged it off, knowing she needed a nap anyways. She sat down, and began to unpack slowly. The first thing she took out was a framed picture of Yang and herself that she'd mistakenly packed back into the bag. She sighed with fondness, knowing soon she'd see her again after months of being cooped up in the stuffy classrooms. A breath of fresh air from it all was just what she needed.
She began to wonder where exactly her love was, and reached for her phone to text her.
"Hey, where are you, right now?" she asked.
"I'm out and about. Why?" Yang replied.
"Because you shouldn't keep me waiting too long. It is Christmas break after all."
"I'll be home soon enough. I still have some things I need to pick up."
Yin set her phone down, and went back to unpacking. She was fine being a little patient, she still had things to do herself.
When she finished unpacking, the first thing she did was kick her shoes off and curl up in bed. The warmth contrasted with the cold weather outside, and it was a nice feeling. Something she didn't normally get, as it didn't much snow around where she was going to college. Would've been nice to have seen some, though.
It wouldn't have had the same magic if it had showed up there, however. Coming home to see the place beautifully blanketed in white for Christmas was more magical when you came home to it all.
She fell asleep within minutes, and woke up about an hour later. She awoke groggy, but knew that Yang would hopefully be home soon. She stood, and walked back downstairs to find her sitting on the couch.
"Mornin' Sleeping beauty," Yang greeted.
"You haven't seen me for months, and you're still resorting to that old joke, eh?" Yin replied.
"Of course I am. Old traditions die hard. You should know that, with how hard you've been working."
"I should know, just listening to you," Yin sighed.
"Yep." Yang took a sip of the cup of hot chocolate in her hand. "I imagine that you're pretty warm, given how wrapped up you seem."
"You would be correct. It was nice to not have to just deal with the harshness of cold winds, and appreciate both the snow and the warmth at once."
"That's good to hear. How's college been going?"
"Stressfully. I'm so glad to finally be home again a bit. I really miss you, and I'm glad you proved me wrong about my worries."
"Of course," Yang said, taking another sip. "What would I have to gain from finding someone else, when I couldn't bring myself to break your heart just to get there?"
"You don't have to wait on someone to get out of—"
"Shush, just accept that I'm still here."
The two went quiet, Yang taking occasional sips of her hot chocolate. They hadn't seen each other in so long, they just enjoyed one another's company in silence. It'd been so long that they just wanted to take in the fact they were finally together, after so long waiting.
It was soon to be Christmas, a special time of the year. Their lives were finally calm enough to be together for the holidays. Yin wasn't able to make it home for the freshman year of college, but she was finally here. Yang was happy. Yin was happy to finally see Yang, having missed her so much.
"Y'know, I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, you wouldn't stay out of my mind up there. It was hard to focus," Yin stated. "Both thoughts of paranoia and ones of optimism."
"Paranoia, how?" Yang questioned.
"All the same paranoid thoughts I had before I left. I thought you'd moved on, just left me out of the information circle to keep from hurting my feelings. Sure, you video chatted with me everyday, but, it always felt like you were leaving something out."
"Well, I haven't been leaving anything out. Now let's hear those thoughts of optimism."
"I assured myself time and time again that you loved me too much to do that. But of course, my mind just wanted to contradict itself again and again. My roommate's studying psychology, and she told me that was pretty normal, though. I hope she's right."
"Well, I'm still here, and I'm not planning on leaving anytime soon. Even if you take off back to college, I'll still be here next Christmas until you're finally home for good. If anything, I should be the one getting paranoid."
"I mean, you got all those college guys. I hear college guys are the best."
"No, they aren't. They're just as pissy as high school guys. That's why I think I'll stick with girls for now."
"Heh, if anything, that's what I want you to take away from all of this," Yang stated. "If you're going out with anyone, it better be with girls. Hopefully just me. Don't be getting into any affairs up there, because I know."
"I wouldn't," Yin replied, laughing. "I love you too much."
"I love you, too. Merry early Christmas, Yin."
"Merry early Christmas, Yang."
So this is the end for this little story, but won't be the end for this universe. Technically this isn't the end for this story, but it's the end for now. All will make sense in time. Either way, for those few readers who made it this far, share it with those who you think would enjoy it, and let me know what you thought with a review. I really enjoyed writing this, so I hope you enjoyed reading.