#121

moving towards nowhere (may 1)

summer's coming around the corner
and i remember all my previous years'
my mornings, my late nights
i wouldn't do much, i would just stand still
and waste time and eat chips and other mundane things

this will be the last summer of my life like this
before i move on to the adult stream
and swim and keep swimming, no time to stop down and rest
it's all forwards, it's all upwards
a rollercoaster of happy and sad moments
until we all die

i'm scared, but i feel resigned as well
this is the path i chose, so keep walking straight ahead
don't look back, don't ever look back

friendships lost
visits to a house become willing silences
annoyances over details of everyday living
what's there to rescue?
i've always been easy to give up fights
to drop the ball and walk out the door
and keep moving towards nowhere...

who knows where i'm going
i'll try not to think about it over the summer
but i'm sure it'll come back and haunt me