I forget a lot of things; my own age, what day of the week it is, right and left. At the same time, my head is filled with knowledge about small, insignificant things such as; Dates of different events, certain codes, and orders of numbers, certain symbols.

I can't feel sympathy the same way as others. If someone cries, it bothers me and I get annoyed. I can't see from someone's point of view so I can never know how someone feels. I can't feel sad for someone so I have to fake it (Smile now, laugh at their joke, lie so you'll have no problems, look surprised when someone tells gossip). I'm rude, too loud, and angry all the time. I speak my mind no matter what I think and it sounds rude to others. "Are you fucking stupid, can't you see I have my things here? You're not blind so you're only an arrogant idiot."Rude, but true. I hate that idiot.

When someone is upset by something I can't understand why. I tell them exactly how to solve the problem but they just scoff. I always say "Why would you do that?" when it is so obvious to me that it can be solved another way. I think the logical way and put emotions aside. Without emotions, you get the best and most effective results.

I used to think I could feel sad for others, but I was just worrying about myself and how it would become a problem to me. Is this good for me? Can this person be an asset to me? I hate how cold I am. I hate that I can't feel empathy.

Things make me happy of course. I smile, I laugh, I cry but I can't feel sorry for someone else than me. Animals are the only thing I do feel emotional about, and plants too.

Logic is the key. Think outside the box, they say, but why would you be thinking inside a box from the start, why would it change to think outside the box? Is there no oxygen in the box? Is it a small box, too dark? Not a literal box, you idiot. Oh. Right. I knew that.

But why

Why didn't you say it like this;

You have to think wider, with more possibilities. Gain a new concept of the whole ordeal. Expand.

I would have understood.

And don't get me started on sarcasm. It's a lost cause for me, even though I'm the most sarcastic asshole ever. A small angry bean.