I don't know what it is, but I know it is there.

And I don't let it bother me because it leaves me alone

most of the time

anyways

- we just share a space.

And when IT is here

the cat's moon eyes get big

and her tail swishes back and forth and

I know she sees things that I cannot so

I know IT is there.

Somedays I feel isolated with IT.

I won't say a word to an actual human, it will just be me and my thoughts and the cat.

It

Drives

Me

Mad.

And I don't even notice that I am alone,

Until…

two or three in the wee hours of the morning

and I can't sleep.

I have always attracted their kind, even when I was a young person.

Never have I let it bother me,

on my physical realm,

I was just painfully aware that

THEY were close

When THEY are close.

I have not decided whether or not

I enjoy their subtle company.

Today my brains are scrambled

like eggs

with the shells still in them

blended with cheese

And heated up again.

I never thought I would end up on this realm, with the others,

screaming in my car,

finding beauty in the mold growing under the bridge,

The mirage in the road

or

in reality,

in everything happening around me.

Because in that moment, I realized that I could have been anywhere but there that day

under that bridge, lying in the frigid waters of the creek,

soaking in the sun under the Leo skies

despite the stares and

the trees' vibrations call out to me

offering abundance in all they give off,

their branches intertwined as if they were all holding onto one another, chanting

Over and over,

about me,

but I don't know what they were saying,

the words are insignificant.

I just know now that

they have joined me

and I don't know if they are here

to tease me

or to take me in.

I am breathing in their pranas and

I am in their home now.

Faces are everywhere

as if they were hung up on the walls in frames

and not all are attractive, like mine,

like his,

like hers.

Their sinister smiles peak out in the bushes,

under that green, yellow glow that surrounds us.

So blindingly beautiful,

in it's own ways

like all of us.

And I wanted to say

'I love you'

to each and everyone

but I don't know how

to form the words with my mouth

to say it adequately

like I meant it.

And it overwhelms me.

I feel so small

though I know this feeling

of in-between and

of now

will never leave me,

it's been a weird time

and

I want to go home.

I just want to go home.