I got this idea from the poll I sent out for my two year anniversary where I asked what people would like to see me write in the future. The greatest response was for a songfic so I have done one better! I'm writing a musical!
I hate change and the transition from high school to college is a major one that I'm not entirely comfortable with... so I've decided to write my way out. Everything from personal angst to worries about college life, I'm tackling each problem in its own chapter.
Every chapter of this story will be a songfic with a cover of the song done by me on my Youtube Channel (link to channel in my profile) and I highly recommend you listen to either my cover or the song itself while reading this chapter, because it makes it more personal.
I also will be writing the stories from the point of view of myself, and many chapters will be based on real life situations.
I hope you enjoy!
I took a deep breath as I opened the door to the rooftop, leaving the sounds of the party behind. This was supposed to be an end of the year prom dance, and yet it had turned into a too loud and too crazy party… something I wasn't too comfortable with at all.
Thankfully the same girl who showed me this place also showed me a private hatch to the rooftop, which is where I was going. A cool night, a notebook in my pocket, and only the stars for company… that was much better than the heartbreak and goodbyes I would get if I stayed with everyone else.
So I exited into the outside air, laying down on the hammock that was out there, and pulled out my notebook… letting the music downstairs provide a soundtrack for the latest chapter of my novel.
As I put the finishing touches on how exactly I was going to have my final battle play out, the door opened again… and she walked out.
Her skin tight blue dress swirled around her, swishing around her knees as her black hair cascaded down her back, framing her face and ruby red lips as she walked over to me.
Stephanie Anderson, the girl who had gotten away.
"Hey, did it get too loud in there?"
Her voice and question were sincere, but I finished what I was writing before I looked up at her face. The beautiful face that once stared at me with all the adoration she had for another, and no amount of bitterness would change that.
"Yeah Steph, just a bit. I thought I was coming to a dance… not a party. I got a bit overwhelmed." Dancing was intimate for me, and every time I danced with a girl I formed a connection with them. I used to form that connection with Stephanie, but now it was gone. Now the informal party attitude was replacing the attitude of formal dance, so I was losing the chances to connect with other girls.
Her snicker pulled me from my thoughts as she peered over my shoulder "Seems it getting harder to tell the two apart these days, but I don't want you to be alone. It's the last day of school before we all go in separate directions… and that hammock looks mighty cozy. Can you tell me about your writing? Please, I need to get details!"
I stared up into her eyes then, wishing I could simply pull her down into my embrace and press her to me without any reservations whatsoever, but my head prevailed over my heart. "Won't Jason object?" He did stare me down every time I so much as gave her a high five… because Stephanie was his girlfriend.
"He's with his friends, as long as I'm back by the last song and dance with him… we'll be fine." She answered, seeing nothing at all wrong with the question. "Please Brady… I can cuddle with whoever I want."
I nodded, shifting over to make room as I made a show of crossing my T's and dotting my I's, trying to ignore how warm her body was against mine. "I know… I'm messing with you."
Being tactile was a curse for me, especially with her, because we were both huggers… and just like dancing, cuddling was intimate, something you did with someone special. Someone you loved and Steph wasn't that girl.
Her legs draped over mine as her skin glowed softly in the moonlight, her heels hitting the floor as she rested her head on my shoulder. A strand of her black hair touched my face and I smiled, turning away from my notes to fully soak her in.
I knew more about her than Jason ever could learn, I knew she changed hair colors and styles as often as I changed weapons in a video game, I knew she was an amazing singer, had a weakness for the wide open plains of Ireland and Scotland, loved cats despite not having any, and got sunburned as if the entire surface of her skin was made of paper soaked in gasoline.
Jason might learn all this knowledge, but I had it first. Some consolation prize, when the real catch was her love and companionship.
"So, what are you writing?" She asked, her hands pawing at my notebook with endless curiosity, just like the cats she loved.
I began to tell her little details about the next chapter of my novel, teasing her with breadcrumbs as my mind wandered.
I let my mind take me back to the first time she told me she loved me as if she had branded me with those three words. My big heart had gotten me down when a present I gave to a friend wasn't received with the joy I thought it should have been, and she came over, put an arm around me and whispered into my ear words that have stayed with me forever.
"I love you for your big heart, and please never forget that."
I knew those words had changed our relationship the second they were spoken, and she was obviously comfortable saying them in an emotional setting, so I began to say them as well. When she was down or stressed or if a moment existed between us. I simply told her I loved her, and I meant it every single time.
However, every time she said it back I knew she was holding back. Every friendly hug was simply… a friendly hug, every 'I love you' was strictly platonic… every chaste kiss on the cheek or forehead or hand was just that… a quick friendly peck.
When she started dating Jason I could see something different in the way she said that she loved him, the way she hugged him, the way she kissed him… the way they touched and cuddled… it just had something my interactions with her didn't.
Knowing that Jason was getting to hold her, hug her, and see her in a way I never could drove me crazy… to the point where I couldn't be around them.
"Hey, you awake?" Stephanie asked, prodding me softly. "If you start snoozing, you know I will"
Having Stephanie fall asleep in my arms was a dream come true… but I shook myself awake. "I know…"
"I just can't believe it's over, high school is finished and now we are heading to college. A whole new chapter in our story." Her head came lower on my chest, resting on my heart as her hand slid into mine. "I'm going to miss you. Sure we have email and our phones, but I'm going to miss this… just moments where we have our own little bubble."
I nodded, letting a single tear fall as I held her tighter. "I'm going to miss this… and you too. Just the times where we can do nothing and simply cuddle. I'm going to miss…"
I closed my mouth before I finished the sentence… I'm going to miss loving you.
Soon she'd leave for college, as would Jason… and I'd finally be able to let the pain go. Even as I moved on, I'd still always have this moment to savor… having the best parts of Stephanie Anderson, all to myself.
"Steph, thanks for coming up here with me… I'm glad that I'm not alone" I muttered, lightly kissing her hair as I shifted to hold her just a bit tighter.
She smiled and stretched out against me, turning to look me in the eyes. "If I have my way, you'll never be alone. I'll email you and call as often as I can, and I'll never forget about a gentleman like you. You've been my best friend and someone I can always rely on… and I love for that."
Her last words sting a bit, because I know that's not the same love she holds for her boyfriend, but I hug her tighter all the same.
"I love you too."
Her phone buzzes and she wiggles out of the embrace to check it, slipping her shoes back on as she stood. "Jason says they're about to play the last song… I'd better get down there."
I nodded, turning back to my writing "I'll stay here if you don't mind… but have fun."
As she left I watched her go, remembering the times where the last dance used to be our thing… and the rooftop under the stars would have been a perfect place to have our last one.
I moved to occupy the space where she had just left, inhaling the smell of her perfume and the feel of her warmth, listening to the slow melody of the song as I looked up at the stars.
Stephanie was the one that got away, but at least I had this memory...and that was all that mattered.
I hope you enjoyed the story because it was very helpful for me to write this angst out. I think that this story will help me deal with the changes I'm making in life... because dealing with problems through writing has worked in the past.
Also, if you would like to request a song, please do so! I can write a personal story about any song, so please PM or review with your selection!
As always please leave a review, feel free to check out my other works, and have a great day! :D