Chapter 1: How did it come to this..?

I wonder Diana, how easily you left that day. Did you once consider the little girl and the infant boy you were leaving behind?

Our marriage was splendid. I remember the moment when i put the ring on her finger and how we kissed under the moonlight. Our honeymoon was sweet and not once did we stop loving each other. The marriage night was splendid, we were finally able to bond with each other spiritually and had uttermost trust in our love.

But who would have thought that the past would still weigh on us even after our marriage.

In the past, Diana and I had a rocky relationship. Our fights were gruesome and disgusting. Diana was always the type of person who used to be open with everyone, especially the opposite sex while I was a person who believed that everything could be solved with her if both of us communicated properly. While she went and healed up by asking comfort from other people, I was slowly dying inside.. feeling forgotten, wanting her to look out for me. Towards the later half of our relationship, she did open up but I had forgotten the art of communication. I was a monster, wanting things to myself, not understanding her and mentally abusing her.

But Diana, did you ever.. understand.. why I became like that..?

I was afraid to let you go, I was insecure about myself and not once did you make me feel secure. How could I when you went and asked comfort from other people and not your own boyfriend? Did you know how incapable I felt? I loved you, I still do, and I wanted to take care of you, but it was all too late and I became a demon.

Slowly over time, you stopped loving me. It became clear now when I look back, how you weren't affected by me and stopped caring. I look back and realized how you just stepped on me, pushing me down when I was crying at your feet. But still for some reason I loved you. I loved you because you promised me that you would not leave me. I asked you so many times to stay with me and never leave because I truly loved you. The reason why I kissed you was because I believed you would always stay. I wanted you to be my true love and wanted to be by my side through it all. I thought it didn't matter how insecure I was, or how dependent I was on you, because I believed that you loved me..

What were you thinking Diana when you walked out on that cold Sunday evening?

Did you notice the little girl looking at you behind that half closed door of her bedroom?

Did you hear that baby's cry who wanted to be so much in her mother's arms?

Now I am hear alone in this study room, writing my next book, waiting to drink my sweethearts coffee. I remember Diana how you used to come here and tell me how your day at work was. We used to laugh at how weird you colleagues. You used to always get jealous of me because I could write my books from home while you had to put up with office pressure.

I smiled a bit holding the pen you gave on my recent birthday while I was thinking bout new ideas of my book when I heard a knock on the door.


I looked towards the door and saw my beautiful little girl looking at me with her big brown orbs with a cup of what seemed to be coffee in her hands. Everything about her reminded me of Diana. She had hair similar to hers, not too short nor too long. She had the same nose as hers and the same small lips. Her facial features was a mixture of both her and me but more towards her.

"Hey baby.. whats up..?" I asked her smiling while ushering her towards me.

"Nothing daddy, just made you some coffee." She said putting the cup on the work desk in front of me and then proceeding to sit on my lap.

I caressed her hair and kissed the top of her head.

"Hey I told you many times not to deal with hot stuff and especially kitchen appliances without my supervision." I looked at her disapprovingly while giving a big sigh.

"Daddy I am like 6 years old chill. Anyways, whens mommy coming back?" She asked looking into my eyes while I stiffened.

"U-Um.. I told you that m-mommy has gone out for business work and all. It'll take while before she comes home because she is dealing with a big project." I said hoping that she won't notice the stutter in my speech.

She looked at me for a bit and then put her head back on my chest.

"When mommy comes back, lets all go to the amusement park okay.?" She said happily and excitedly.

"Mhm we will." I said holding her closer to me when i heard a baby's cry coming from Nida's room.

"Oh no, Mumu probably woke up from his sleep. Ill go feed milk to him." Nida said as she quickly got up from my lap.

"The milk powder is in the cupboard next to where the plates are kept!" I called out as I looked at her back as she exited the room.

My eyes softened as I looked at her back.

How long could I keep lying to her?

How would it feel if someone told that your mother isn't coming back?

Did Nida start to realize that she won't ever feel a mothers love again?

Yeah, she probably did. After all she is my child and I used to always get to know and understand things well before age.

And I hate that quality.