First of all, thank you. Thank you for taking the time to read my book. I would like to tell you about how it all came to be. First a few details about myself, that are important for the process that lead to the creation of this book.
I decided that I wanted to write very early in my life, I think I was about seven years old. I loved reading books and making stories to tell my grandparents. When I learned to write I began to write those stories down. I loved making things up more than anything. But once school started I soon learned that making things up is not widely appreciated. Of course my grandparents and my parents told me I was brilliant but after constantly being discredited for my work, I began to doubt that was true. I tried to stop writing, believing I had no talent for it, but my brain could not stop making up stories. For many years I just kept them locked in my head until I forgot about them. I began to dread and even hate tasks that involved creative writing, thinking about how badly my stupid brain will mess this up again. Why can't I think like normal people do? Why can't I just follow the rules and write the way the teacher wants me to. I actually began to see this creativity as something bad, because I would have my own spin on the topic, my own different understand of literature that was always different from what my peers would say or write. And the response I was often met with was:" Why can't you be normal? Why can't you do it like everyone else?"
After one of my teachers complimented a short horror story I wrote for homework, I decided to give it one last try. Only instead of short stories I decided I would write a full length novel and I would never show it to anyone. I will do this thing for myself, to prove that I can and after it is done I will never write anything again. That was my intention. And so began Gvera Cross. One late December evening back in 2011 ,I sat down and wrote the first sentence of the book, with no clear idea for a story and where it would go, without a planned ending or what the world was like. Only then I had no idea the journey of a fictional girl would end up taking me on journey.
As I began writing I realized I knew nothing about real writing. I had done short stories before, but a novel was something different. I found it difficult to express in words what I wanted to say and while I had research literature to learn about world building and character development I had come to realize that it was not my knowledge of literature that were holding me back. I realized that to grow as a writer I need to grow as a person. Working on this book has made face my inner demons, learn things about myself that I never knew and fall in love with writing again. There were many times when I wanted to delete the whole thing and just giving up, before deciding that I would just give it one more try. I had destroyed my works before, during moments of self-doubt, so many stories had gone up in flame. I had made myself a promise that would finish it, no matter how long it took me. And it took me six years. The main reason I decided to post my writing online was not because I wanted attention but out of fear that would not be able to me from destroying it. So while this book was never intended to be read by anyone, thank you for taking your time and reading it and if you have a dream, something you want to be, please, don't give up on yourself.