i think there is something wrong with me

no, i know there is something wrong with me.

but this thing is d^i^f^f^e^r^e^n^t

because it seems everything is crumbling

friendships,

interests,

the will to live.

there has to be s_o_m_e_t_h_i_n_g

wrong with me

because i used to be at

these sort of things

i used to be g o o d at friendships

and communicating

i used to always be smiling

and laughing

and-

i used to be happy...

i should be happy

i s;h;o;u;l;d be

so why aren't i?

i have a good l i f e

i have good grades

not all amazing friends

but i have a f e w that i'm sure

would do anything for me? (maybe)

so why do i still feel h=o=p=e=l=e=s=s?

and everyone just tells me that

i control my feelings, i just have to

"think positive"

"take a deep breath"

"be happy"

but they don't know.

it's not as easy as just

thinking positive.

how do you think positive when your

h~e~a~d is filled with d!a!r!k!n!e!s!s?

how do you take a deep breath when your

l.u.n.g.s are c/o/l/l/a/p/s/i/n/g?

how can i be happy when i'm

n#o#t h,a,p,p,y?

saying bullshit like that isn't going to c u r e my head

but then again, it's like some also say

my head can't get s i c k

after a l l , my head can't c*a*t*c*h *a* c*o*l*d

silly old me

didn't realise that

f|u|c|k y+o+u

i am not p?r?e?t?e?n?d?i?n?g?

don't say i am

please

i'm not

s)a)v)e m(e