What Heaven Feels Like

Sometimes when I'm sober,
I feel like my life is over.
And then when I'm high
I'm pretty sure that's what heaven feels like.
I'm surrounding myself with booze and pills.
Anything to get a cheap thrill.
The only thing that keeps me going,
Is working towards that next dosage.
The next line, the next drink,
They always seem like the next best thing.
But when the bottles are empty,
And the pills are gone,
That when the crash comes on.
And that's when you feel like you're dying-
It'll happen every time.
And you start hoping for one more,
One you may have stashed away before.
All while knowing that after you do this,
That only misery awaits the bliss.
But you do it again,

And again.

Because when I'm high…
I'm pretty sure that's what heaven feels like…

~Helen Alexandria