I am not who you want me to be, but that's okay.
I don't want to be who you want me to be.
I don't want to be this perfect, uncomplicated human being.
I'm quite content with being human, feeling the emotions I feel,
Sure, not all of them are great, but at least they are real.
Why should I have to change myself to be who you want me to be?
Why should I have to pretend to be comfortable with overly sexual labels
and messages directed towards me?
Because I'm not comfortable, I just couldn't tell you...
But now I am.
And now you're heartbroken that I've told you,
Heartbroken...that I've accepted who I am.
So.. did you fall in love with my flowers, not my roots?
If so, I'm glad we're over before Autumn because you wouldn't
have known what to do.
The sad thing is that I loved you, you just couldn't see it
Or was I bad at showing it?
The sad thing is that I cared, you just needed a reason to be angry at me,
so now apparently I didn't care.
I am not who you want me to be because you wanted me to be someone
I am not.
Someone who does not exist within me.
I have several different moods, but none of them are the character you
saw in your mind when thinking of perfection.
Heck, you called me beautiful and perfect, so why, when I told you
who I am, did you suddenly change those views?
Make plans to see me, call it off
Apologise, I'd forgive you and convince myself I was overreacting
But secretly I always knew I was being rational.
The way you were around her, you knew I had anxiety
You knew I would overthink it when you kept taking pictures of her
and sending them to me.
You were a drug, almost.
You were unhealthy for me, I just didn't realise until I had gotten over my addiction to you.
You weren't always unhealthy, you made me feel so good about myself,
but simultaneously made me feel bad about myself when we ended.
Because I'm a bitch, right?
I'm a bitch for not feeling sexually attracted, aren't I?
I'm a bitch because I agreed with your statement of never wanting to see me again, right?
I'm a bitch for breaking up in a relationship where I now realise I felt uncomfortable, right?
I'm a bitch for caring about myself and admitting to myself I felt uncomfortable, right?
I am not who you want me to be because I am not comfortable as that person.
I'm not comfortable with comments like "thick" when talking about my weight
and you thought you were being nice.
I am not some calm, stable person who is always going to be able to convince you I need you
because the problem is I've been alone, so I'm not scared of being alone
I'm not afraid of being by myself.
I am someone who is going to disagree with you,
I am someone who is going to stand for what I agree with, whatever you think
I am someone who is going to not miss you because you showed your true colours and showed who you really were.
I am not who you want me to be
I am who I want me to be.