Tale #22: The Intruder!
It's getting cold outside and Dad said that he thinks Old Man Winter is getting ready to pay us a visit. It's a lot of work, but I'm on close alert and checking all of the doors and windows pretty frequently to make sure that guy doesn't get into our house! It's bad enough trying to keep the UPs man, the FED-up guy, and those ground rats from stopping by, but now I have to watch out for someone else.
Earlier today, Mom was madly rushing around planting new bushes and trees all over the house for most of the afternoon, just like she did about this time last year. Then, she started putting lights on them. I think that's so I'll be sure to see them so I'll know exactly where to pee if she ever forgets to take me out in time since she's so busy this time of year! Then, she set up a 'nat…nat-v…nat-ivi-ty scene.' I didn't realize what that was until she started pulling out these little people shaped bones to put in it. I was still pretty small last year when she set it up, but I do remember getting to eat one of them. Maybe she'll let me have more this year?
Watching Mom doing all that rushing around made me pretty tired after a little while, so I took a nap. Dad timed it just right and got home right when I was waking up. He was giving me lots of pats and hugs when I saw the INTRUDER in our house!
The bad guy was obviously up to no good when I saw him, since he appeared to be coming in through some secret hole in the kitchen counter rather than through the door like a normal home invader. Fortunately, I caught him when he only had his head through the hole! The guy really looked like he was a rough sort. His head was kind of big, his face was kind of fat, and he even looked like he might have had high blood pressure or something because his cheeks were all bright red. Well, the part you could see that wasn't hidden by this big, scruffy white beard, anyway! His eyes were all beady and he even had on what I understand is standard burglar wear…a stocking cap! Of course, I thought burglars generally wear black ones, but maybe I'm mixed up on that or maybe he's color blind…or maybe he got dressed in the dark and accidentally put on that bright red one instead! I'll have to talk to my buddies at Uncle D's about that next time I go back for more training.
Well, I immediately pointed toward the vile housebreaker and froze, alerting Dad by giving a low 'grrrrrr!' He turned to look at my face rather than looking at the intruder, so I gave another 'GRRRRRR!' while still pointing at the bad man! Dad noticed the burglar then and went into straight into action, telling me to 'SIT' and 'STAY' rather than letting me jump all over the guy. Darn it! He always does that! I must admit, Dad did a decent job though, knocking the guy face down and, I guess, back in to the hole!
With the crisis over, Dad gave me a great big hug and told me that he'd be sure to stay on the lookout for that bad SANTA!"
Dad's follow-up note: Wishing all of Jake's friends a very Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Happy Holidays, and Happy New Year. As a further explanation, Jake really didn't care for the lighted Santa Claus head decoration that "Mom" had put out on the counter!