Well, you asked for it! Here's twenty more annoyances I also have.
21. Huge fucking paragraph block of text.
What happened to your Enter key?! Can you not indent?
What I told myself: Maybe they're...new to computers? Or they've only read blocks of text their entire life?
22. Random italics and bold.
I don't know why it just annoys me.
What I tell myself: Yeah it's kind of stupid. What kind of idiot would do that?
23. Author notes scattered in random places in the chapter itself, not before or after.
Why? Do you enjoy talking during movies too?
24. I have views to prove people checked out and seem to like my story but nobody reviewed, followed, favorited, or did anything to interact with it.
Yeah I see you, random reader out in the UK. You're up to chapter sixteen, think you could leave a comment or something? I mean like, you seem pretty committed already.
What I told myself: They might be shy. Or just really, really bored out of their mind.
For shame. For shame!
What I told myself: You better start hiding your knockoff Romeo and Juliet tragicomic play.
26. Some author likes slash, but not like, slash itself, so they might go for a genderbend story where the love interest has some "Am I GAY? Ewwwww I am not, better sexually assault my androgynous crush juuust to be sure" panic until they realize their crush is of the opposite sex. Instead of, you know, just having the love interest go "Am I gay? Okay, I guess I am. Oh, I guess they're not a girl? I'm still attracted."
What I told myself: Ugh.
27. People leave reviews like "Mmm, sorry, it just didn't...PULL me. You know, I didn't get any...sexual allure tempting me to finish it. Not a fan :( Sorryyyy."
I'm not sure what the solution to this is. Did you want to tell me it was boring? If so, how am I going to spice it up? And what did you expect from this exactly? This isn't a Michael Bay movie, people.
What I suggested to myself: Add some hot chicks wearing chainmail armor running away from a bunch of torpedo AK-47 bazookas while the entire US Airforce salutes in the background and suddenly Chuck Norris and Jackie Chan start sprinting towards one another with their bare chests covered in oil, yelling "RASENGAAAAAN" and "CHIDORIIIII."
What I replied back to myself: Bloody hell. No!
What I said, a little later: Are Chuck Norris and Jackie Chan supposed to be Naruto and Sasuke? Chainmail? What the fuck is going on here, and is Chuck Norris even alive?
28. Someone leaves the aforementioned review for some story that is clearly not even in their interests.
Dude, you write World War Two gritty historical dramas, why did you even think you would enjoy reading my Sailor Moon reposted fanfiction?
What I told myself: He probably doesn't understand the beautiful love, peace and justice that is Sailor Moon and all derivatives of it.
29. PM-ing me every single time they mass-update their story several times a day.
I get it if it's a story I really like and you haven't updated in a while, but if I'm already following it or have read it recently, there's no need!
What I told myself: If there wasn't a Story Alert option I'd probably do this to everyone. Heck, I do this to my best friend allll the time.
30. Someone writes a story meant to guilt trip girls into becoming love interests, or where the love interest keeps on insisting on doing something that the main character is not comfortable with.
Dude. Seriously, if I said no just now, I probably won't change my mind three seconds later and mean it. Especially if you keep on cornering me.
What I told myself: I hope the author can tell the difference between fetishes and reality and will leave a disclaimer.
31. Author explains that the abusive love interest has a mental disorder, and therefore it justifies the pain they inflict.
NO. JUST NO.
"Oh he has bipolar disorder so he needs to take it out on me" UH NO, HE MAY NEED MEDS OR PROFESSIONAL HELP, BUT HE CERTAINLY DOES NOT NEED TO KEEPING ON HURTING YOU. YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN A PUNCHING BAG. GET OUT OF THERE!
What I told myself: If they really cared, they would not just applogize but actually respect boundaries and stop doing whatever they are doing that hurts the main character. Just saying "I'm sorry, I had a rough life" doesn't cut it. The main character should also not have to feel threatened around them.
32. In the middle of a scene that's supposed to be sexy or whatever and someone exclaims something like "Merlin!" or "Shit!" or just a long string of "Fuck fuck fuck!"
First off, what are you going to do if you actually invoke the person whose name you called out? Also, who else's name are you going to moan randomly now? "Aaaah...Shakespeare!" "Barbara Kingsolver!" "DIANA WYNNE JONES!"
Also, I don't know why but I'd get annoyed if the person I was making out with kept on saying the same word for so long.
What I told myself: Fortunately we don't have to worry about that since you're nowhere close to making out with anybody in the first place. LOSEEEEEEER.
33. Romanticization of mental illness/very inaccurate portrayal.
It's not cute, it's not quirky, it's not edgy, and it's not something you can get rid of whenever you like. It stops you from getting up in the mornings for things you know you can't afford to miss, it makes it hard to read, it comes and goes with changes in your life, sometimes you are genetically predisposed to it, and it's not something you can "rationalize" and "justify" and wish away with a good helping of kale and eight glasses of water.
What I want to tell you: Do your fucking research. This isn't some new concept nor is it a figment of fantasy like mermaids. It's real, it's around you, it exists, familiarize yourself with it!
34. Neurotypical/able-bodied characters who are like "Ewww I can't have a disorder! I'll never be happy! Oh thank god I don't have one."
First off, what does this say about disabled people? Are you telling me they are incomplete, incapable of happiness, or unimportant? What if you weren't so "lucky" and actually had to confront the idea of changing your lifestyle to accomodate a disability?
What I want to tell you: Maybe try writing in a protagonist who actually is disabled, and who you're not just using for "inspiration porn," but one who has lived with their disability all their life and tries to deal with it and also other mundane things like stupid friends, taxes and lost concert tickets. You might learn something and grow more comfortable with the uncomfortable truths of living. I mean like, hey! You have to poop, right? Well, some human beings have to use a catheter, or a wheelchair, or a brace, or a cane. And maybe instead of being all dainty and revulsed by it, maybe you'll start to understand and realize yeah, it's just part of life, there's not really much we can do about it to make it look pretty, so there's no point in whining and cringing about it. You'll see.
35. Weird profile copypasta poems about shootings and child abuse and racism that are supposed to guilt trip me into being progressive.
I don't know. I mean, I agree with their message (i.e. shooting people is bad, child abuse is bad, racism is bad) but it jsut seems kinda tacky to me.
What I tell myself: At least they care. And that's more than the amount of money you donated to your local children's hospital today.
36. Stories where the first chapter is just a bunch of background information.
I dunno, I just wanna get to the pillaging or making out or spaceships or whatever.
What I told myself: You would, you uncultured Murican.
37. Stories that include random words from Google Translate in an attempt to make the author look more cultured.
No, that is NOT the character for "long life" in Chinese.
And no, "Ohio gozaimasu" is not the correct spelling in Japanese for "good morning."
Do not confuse the words "schwul" and "schwül," otherwise you might be in for an Überraschung.
What I told myself: It's sad that you know that much about Japanese. Fuckin' WEEABOO.
What I replied with: Yeah.
38. Manga stories.
As a dedicated weeaboo I am highly scrutinous of their portrayal of Japanese culture. Every country has its dark side. Sixteen and living alone in an apartment with only one part time job? Are you aware that landlords are legally permitted to discriminate against foreign applicants looking for housing?
What I told myself: Don't lie to me I know about your Haruhi Suzumiya fanfiction from 2011.
39. I try to make a suggestion and it turns into a full blown war with the author yelling stuff like "CENSORSHIP" and "RIGHT TO FREE SPEECH" and "YOU FUCKING SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIORS RUIN EVERYTHING THAT IS GOOD."
I made an optional, totally refusable suggestion. Dude. Say no and I'll back away.
Also...was that supposed to be an insult? What else are you going to call me?
"Ugh, I hate Stephanie, she's always like campaigning for gay rights and feeding orphans and stuff. What a peace and love advocate."
"Oh my god, why does Dean always have to pray in public for missing children? Why doesn't he like, I dunno, FIND them? He is a such a bloody heart angel."
What I told myself: Just take a step back and ask them if they are okay. Like, no seriously, I think they might need some help.
40. People who talk about other people behind their back/smartasses who correct the most minor of mistakes with such a condescending tone.
Bloody snitches, am I right?