You held out your hand to me, waiting for me to grab it. I stand here biting my lip, contemplating do I really want to see how this go?
Been feeling so confused on where I exactly belong again. Thinking about certain things from the past, that guilt and regret still linger on to this day.
Sometime I feel so much darkness inside me, waiting to claw its way out my mouth. Other times the light shines through the beat of my heart. With finally, the insides of me, just feel empty to me sometimes.
This road I been walking, hasn't all been all that bad. Keep telling myself that is how life is supposed to be, but still feel so mixed on what to feel anymore.
I do have people that really care for me, but also have the fear of it being fake or just leaving me, still has a hold onto my heart.
Not so sure what to do here, just like the other million times, where I always had to make a decision. Though I know if I make the wrong choice, my heart always leads me back to the right one that is what I am supposed to do for myself.
The vision starts to get blurry, or maybe it just becoming foggy in this area. You still have you hand out toward me, but do I really want to keep making this choice every time I close my eyes? I keep dreaming of another life, and the times I choose it, I'll just end up running back to my actual life I have, even if in the other life, I have people that I miss from the past.
Wouldnt want to go back, and change the past, to something different, since everyone I met and know, help shape me into I am right now, even if I get to frustrated with myself.
Not sure how to keep dealing with myself, but every time I close my eyes, I get whisked away into another scenario or another life that could have been possible.
I just stare at the hand you still have in front of me, and thinking I won't take it this time, and even if I did, like I said before, Ill just want to wake back up in real life or just run to people that I still have with me in real life in this dream, even if they aren't like their real life self.
A small part of me wishes that you holding out your hand to me, was happening in real life, but I always keep telling myself, that even then, I won't take your hand, so you can lead me away from the life I have now, even if the life I have now is frustrating and stress as could be.
I wouldnt change my friends or leave them either, since if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't have all these good precious memories inside me that make me keep fighting in this life.