Chapter 3: The Count

The wizard got a few days off from work, while police detectives examined the body of Richard Jewel. In a surprising twist, Richard Jewel's death was declared to be a suicide. The wizard smiled at this news. His powers had grown strong indeed. No one would ever question his involvement in Richard Jewel's death.

When the offices were reopened, the wizard was summoned to appear before the Pig. The wizard was very excited about this. He figured that he would finally be made head of the department, getting his just dues at last. Perhaps, his life would change for the better and he could give up his roleplaying and live his life as a better version of his old persona. He vowed not to be a lonely incel, a term that he had picked up during his long stints surfing the web, trying to find other pathetic souls like himself.

He swallowed a lump in his throat and walked into the Pig's office.

If I get this promotion I will give up this childish play.

The Pig sat at his office, behind a desk, and smoked a cigar. Even though smoking was banned in public, the wizard learned that rules and regulations did not apply to wealthy people.

"Good afternoon, wizard, I am sure you are saddened by Richard Jewel's suicide."

"Yes, sir," spoke the wizard with feigned sadness.

"Well, I'm not. It takes a soft piece of shit to commit suicide. That's why I'm not fooling around this time, I'm bringing in my nephew to fill Richard Jewel's position and I want you to give him any help he requires."

The wizard had to fight back the tears, but his magic kept him whole and healthy.

The Pig could almost smell the wizard's disappointment.

"You figured I should have picked you. I'll be honest with you. I knew it was you who wrote that impressive report, but you lacked the balls to stand up to Jewel, so I gave him the promotion instead."

The wizard shook with rage and tried to think of thousand spells and curses to place upon the Pig. Instead, he said, "I understand, sir. I will help your nephew the Count in any way I can."

Of course, the nephew's name was not really the Count, but the wizard saw him as a Count. Dracula was a Count. Counts were evil and they were vampires. The nephew would be an evil parasite, like a vampire.

The next morning the Count arrived. He was tall, handsome, and muscular – everything the wizard was not. He walked up to the wizard with a friendly smile upon his face.

"Greetings, wizard. I hear you are well versed in magic and I have been told that I can learn much from you." (The reader will note that the nephew really said something else, but the writer of this narrative no longer wishes to translate the scene. The wizard had few illusions left at this point. Why spoil it for him?)

"Aye. It is true. I have studied magic both good and evil. If you need my services or if you need me to advise you on something, please do not hesitate to ask."

Sally Peters had already caught the Count's eye and he waved good-bye to the Wizard.

"Hello, Ms. Peters," smiled the Count.

Sally demurely replied, "Hello, sir. I hope you will enjoy it here."

"Of course. If you come to my office, I will debrief you on my needs."

Sally stood up and the Count gave her his arm and led her to his office.

The wizard watched Sally wiggle her hips as she was escorted to the Count's private chamber. He sat there red-faced with mixed feelings of envy, arousal, and embarrassment.