5 months later, 5 months later

You're still on my mind

5 months later

Even though I've tried to hide

From it, from you

I blocked you on all of my accounts

And I've seen so many people since April

Since April

But still somehow you come back to haunt me

In my waking days I'm just fine

When I'm by myself

But at night, in my dreams

There you are, there you are

And I'm missing you

And you're moving on

living life separately

And in my dreams it's hard to take

That we keep growing and living without each other

But when I wake up and I'm alone

I'm confused because I don't want you here

By my side

Or I thought I didn't but now I'm doubting myself

I'm doubting myself

But I don't want to want you

Because even if I loved you

Or love you

You were never there for me

And if I'm with someone

I don't want to still be alone


And 5 months later

You're still on my mind

I tried to run, and I tried to hide

But there you are in my dreams again

And it's weird cause I hardly remember you

And you could be so changed now

So different

But still in my dreams I'm missing you

And I want to just lie on your chest

Your arms around me

But with you I felt so lonely

So, I guess I'm feeling conflicted

And I have been since April

And sometimes I wish that I could just talk to you

But I know that that's a bad idea

A bad idea

But I hope you're doing well

Like I think you are

And I bet you don't think of me

And I guess that's good

I guess that's okay

I only wish I could be the same way

We don't work and I know that

I wish I hadn't gotten so attached

Cause I'm trying to sever my ties

But they bind me so tight

I can hardly move

To use the scissors

To cut myself free

You're moving forward

But behind you you're dragging me

By ropes and strings

Ropes and strings

Since April

I've grown and I've changed

But I guess in this I'm still the same way

And since April I learned that I deserve

More than you gave me

More attention, more respect

More love and less demands

I could never make you happy

And trying made me empty as well

I was never good enough and I know I'd never be

So I want to move on and finally, finally

Forget you

And I thought I had

But then you showed up in my dreams

And I was thinking of you again

Of you again

Oh since April,

So much has changed

I've learned I can be wanted

Without being caged

And oh since April

No ones forced me to do anything

Finally my No's are heard

And I feel respected

So 5 months later

You'd think I wouldn't need you

5 months later

You'd think I wouldn't want you

But I guess you'd be wrong

Cause here I am dreaming and writing this song

Writing this song