I've been getting a lot of feedback on this first chapter, so I decided to take it to heart and fix it. Ended up rewriting the whole thing. Oops. Oh well.

Enjoy!


Step 1:

Establishing your character

"Oh no Cat-sama! I'm going to be late for school!' Raion yelled as she ran out the door with a piece of toast in her mouth"

-Navy Scouts, Book 1: The Beginning

The day it began was a pretty average September day. I woke up to my alarm, (the blasted thing) beeping and squealing, announcing that it was morning. Groaning, I rolled out of bed, stumbling through the dark to find the light switch.

The next few minutes were spent waking myself up, before going through the daily routine.

I didn't really care about makeup or anything like that, so my mornings usually just consisted of a quick shower and tidying my knotted brown hair. That morning was no different, it wasn't very long at all before I was shuffling into the kitchen to greet my father's half dressed form. His shirt was on, but his suspenders were not, making his underwear show. He only had half of his makeup applied and his fake nose was sitting expectantly on the counter.

"Hey Hannah. Have you seen my hair? I thought I left it on the counter yesterday but it was kinda a late night and-" I picked the rainbow wig up from it's spot on the tile floor and tossed it to him in passing. He fumbled a bit before catching it, a wide grin on his face.

Shaking my head I popped some bread in the toaster.

"Don't forget your contacts Dad."

His eyes widened comically before he ran out of the room, presumably to put on said contacts.

I just laughed.


Eric was at the bus stop before I was, phone out, checking out our ratings as usual. Sidling up to him, I looked over his shoulder at our less than phenomenal numbers.

"52?" I asked, irritation creeping into my voice. "We were at 53 subscribers yesterday."

He shrugged as the bus pulled up, pocketing his phone.

"Someone unsubbed after watching the new video. Left a nasty comment too."

As we entered the bus I made a grab for his phone, quickly entering his passcode and logging on to UsTube. Scrolling through the regular comments of 'nice video', 'so funny' and 'plz subscrib to my chnal', I located the outlier.

"Holy crap. Doesn't this guy know any word that isn't a curse!?"

Eric let out a low chuckle before pulling me down into the seat next to him. "I'm pretty sure he made the last movie we reviewed. That's probably why he's so pissed."

I groaned and handed Eric his phone. That's one of the disadvantages of being a bad movie reviewer, the producers of said crappy movies tended to be a bit overprotective. We spent the rest of the bus ride discussing our pitiful following and how to improve it. As always, it ended all too soon, and I found myself rushing from class to class.

The day went as usual, the only point of interest being Biology.

Bio is one of those classes that pretty much every Freshman coming into Pryor high takes right off the bat. Sophomores in the class are few and far between, most people have no trouble getting their grade up past a D.

I, unfortunately, was not one of those people.

Sitting on those uncomfortable stools, listening to drone on about how wonderful his kids were, (failing to actually teach the class anything) I thought the day would never end. Across from me, Mary Susan Walker was sitting rigid, a look of careful concentration on her pretty face as she worked on the assigned worksheet. She was, of course, a freshman, but you wouldn't know it. Mary was tall and gorgeous, curves in all the right places. She had an impeccable sense of style and a personality that was so chipper it bordered on irritating. Not that anyone ever mentioned that.

As the class dragged on, Mary would occasionally flick her long golden hair out of her eyes, to the irritation of our other tablemate, Alexa Brimm.

Small and underdeveloped, with choppy black hair and a perpetual frown, Alexa was everything Mary was not. I hadn't ever seen her actually talk to anyone, she could mostly be seen sitting alone drawing or something. Any human interaction she did have was usually pretty negative, a fight or something. And that Tuesday was no different.

"Would you quit it?" Alexa hissed as yet another one of Mary's Blond curls swatted her in the face.

"Oh sorry." Mary said oh so innocently. (As sarcastic as it sounded, I don't think she actually realized she was pissing Alexa off.) Alexa growled, but dropped the issue.

At least until Mary did it again five minutes later.

There was a large clatter as Alexa's stool fell to the floor. She stood over Mary, fuming. "ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!"

Mary shrunk back into her seat as Alexa began screaming profanities at her, seriously done with everything. This was enough to finally snap from his rambling, and had him coming over to the back of the class to resolve the issue. Unfortunately, Alexa was fully gone at this point, pulling out her hair and throwing her stuff to the ground. 's intervention did no good, just angering her further and resulted in a student vs teacher wrestling match. Thankfully, was also the football coach, so the squabble ended quickly.

"Stay here you maggots! I'll be back in a minute." He called to us as he headed out, Alexa on his shoulder, beating her fists against his big back.

"AND DON'T TOUCH THE BUNSEN BURNERS TOM!"


The final bell rang before he got back. Kids filed out, each murmuring their apologies to Mary in passing. Soon the classroom was empty except for Mary and I, with her tidying up Alexa's scattered belongings and me waiting for Eric to burst through the door in typical dorkster fashion. He didn't disappoint.

"Hey Han-Ham! How was your da-" Eric cut himself off as he caught sight of Mary, a bright blush developing on his face. He straightened and adjusted his shirt, before walking over in a stiff I-AM-A-ROBOT fashion.

Leaning against the table 'casually' he slicked his ruffled brown hair back and asked Mary, "Need any help?"

She popped up from behind the lab table so suddenly that Eric lost his balance a little. Turning her million watt smile at him she shook her head.

"I'm good. Thanks for asking!"

Eric stuttered something after her as she headed for the door, Alexa's stuff in her arms. She almost got there before he walked in, football in hand, obviously looking for . Mary crashed into him and everything fell to the ground, in typical shojo fashion. "Oh. Sorry." He said, his voice low and dreamy, emitting the feeling of melted chocolate.

He was Anthony Stone the dark brooding captain of the football team, a tall senior who sported chiseled features and the aura of smoking hot sexieness.

Mary stood dumbstruck and stared at him, stars in her eyes, as he bent down to pick up the scattered things. She managed to pull herself out of it when he handed her the large pile of books, papers and, uh, voodoo dolls (Alexa's voodoo dolls, not hers).

"Thank you." She said shyly, blush blooming on her face as she fled into the hall. Anthony shrugged and sat in 's chair, tossing his football around in boredom.

Grabbing my things, I walked over to the dumbstruck Eric.

"Well you tried." I managed, nudging Eric in encouragement. "You'll get her someday."

He rolled his eyes, before shuffling towards the door.

"Ah c'mon Ricky It's not all hopeless. Look, we can do some game plans at your house tonight, you know?" Eric shrugged, back hunched over as he kicked the ground half heartedly. I ran after him, getting desperate.

"I've got that new movie To be or to Zombie," I offered, "It looks awful."

He snorted. I took that as a good sign.

"It's Hamlet! With Zombies! For heavens sakes, who thought that would be a good idea!?"

Eric was full out laughing now. I smiled and nudged his shoulder again.

"There's the the dork I know. You shouldn't let her get to you, if she can't notice how great you are then she-" My foot collided with something, sending it skidding along.

We stopped where we were (still pretty close to the classroom), and I bent down to pick up the offending object.

"Crap" Eric said, peering over my shoulder. "Looks like Mary dropped something."

It was a jewelry box with the name Alexa written on the top. It was pretty unremarkable, just a small wooden box that fit comfortably in the palm of my hand. Eric made a move to open it, but I snatched it away just in time.

"It's rude to look through other people's stuff Eric!"

He shrugged and I slipped the box into my jacket pocket, planning on giving it to her when I saw her on Wednesday.

I never did end up seeing her that Wednesday.


Hey ladies and gents! How are you today?

Good?

Good!

Anyway welcome to Being a Magical Girl: A guide for the Average. If you couldn't guess from the first chapter, this whole story is a satire on the magical girl genre. Expect sarcasm, unpredictability, and even a hint of romance!

Thank's for reading this far!

-Heidi the Storyteller