Hiding Your Secret Identity
"Navy sun is soooo cool isn't she Rai-chan?' Amy asked, an official Navy Scout bag at her hip. Raion blushed furiously, and stuttered something unintelligible."
-Navy Scouts, Book 6: A Furious Lizard
When I awoke the next morning, it was not because I wanted to. The sun shone through my window (indicating just how late I was), illuminating my father, who apparently couldn't find his fake nose. My head hurt as he frantically rambled on, my eyes were itchy and it felt like I had slept in my contacts. I did a quick check and determined my eyes to be contact free, but they were still itchy. And so was my nose.
Dad's loud sneeze broke me out of my thoughts, it looked like he wasn't feeling so great either. Maybe it was something in the air? The two of us had awful allergies and fall was starting so there was a good chance-
I whipped my head to the left where a black cat was sitting on my bed.
I don't own a cat.
I'm allergic to cats.
My Dad is allergic to cats.
Why was there a cat on my bed?
"Dad. There's a Cat." I said, pointing at the offending furball.
He chuckled, like I'd told a great joke. "Well yeah. That's your cat."
I gave him an exasperated look.
"We don't own a cat."
He started laughing, saying something like, of course we own a cat and other silly things. He interrupted himself with a sneezing fit that lasted a solid minute, before excusing himself, probably to wash the cat hair off his face.
I watched him go, before turning to the black allergy machine.
We stared at each other for a long moment before-
"You're father is quite a strange man."
I screamed and stumbled off the bed, grabbing the nearest 'weapon' I could find. The cat continued to lick his paw like nothing strange had happened. Brandishing my Navy Sun action figure, I cautiously approached the creature. He looked up as I approached and I swear he rolled his eyes at me.
"Calm down mortal." He said, his tone already getting on my nerves. "It is just I, the great Guardian Death."
Navy Sun went clattering to the ground as I stared at Death, completely flabbergasted. He stared back, his bored eyes bearing into me and making me slowly more irritated.
Taking a calming breath I opened my mouth to reasonably reason with him.
"WHAT THE FRICK ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE!?"
Okay maybe not my most reasonable….
I had been hoping that everything was a dream, or at least that Death was done with me. I mean, he had expressed his displeasure quite a bit the night before.
When Death had sent Mary away, I was ready for the worst.
My worst was apparently not his.
"WHAT WAS THAT!?"
Man that guy was loud. I covered my ears in an attempt to block him out.
"WHEN A WEAPON IS SUMMONED, THAT'S YOUR WEAPON FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! IT'S IMPERATIVE TO PICK ONE THAT YOU CAN USE WELL AND IS GENUINELY EFFECTIVE! NOT A KITCHEN UTENSIL! THIS-"
I cut him off there.
"What are you talking about? I didn't summon any weapon. I fought that thing with my bare freaking hands."
His glower dimmed before he sighed and rolled his eyes. Strolling across the roof he picked up something before coming back over. With a huff he shoved the thing in my arms and continued his lecture.
The thing was a frying pan, bordering on the smaller side and pretty light. It was black and unremarkable, but something about it screamed magical to me. It might of been the way it glimmered slightly in the light, or how it seemed to match my stupid outfit, but I think the truth of the matter was that it felt right, like I'd been using it for years and it was a part of me. I fell in love with it right then and there.
Death's rant went on into the wee hours of the morning. When he realized the time, he quickly showed me how to detransform and then left, leaving me to walk home. I would've taken my bike, but I had no idea where that had ended up, and a sneaking suspicion told me that it was back at home safe and sound. When I finally did get home, I just crashed on my bed, not even bothering to take off my shoes.
I had been hoping the whole thing was a dream….
When I was done yelling at Death for scaring the crap out of me, he proceeded to tell me that because I had summoned a weapon, the Maleurous was bound to me and we were stuck together.
"Can't you just… I dunno, unbound us?" I asked as I threw a t-shirt on.
He sighed and shook his little cat head. "Unfortunately the only way to unbind a user to their item of Happenstance is the user's death, and I doubt you would appreciate that."
"Uh… yeah no. I'm good." I grabbed my contacts, but thought better of it, instead going for my spare glasses. Gathering my scattered papers, I remembered why I couldn't wear my contacts.
"Hey dude? Why are you a cat?"
He looked up, paused and answered in a regretful tone.
"As the guardian of the Maleurous, I must stay by the user so they can fulfill their duty. As such, my true form cannot be used, for it is unusual and terrifies the common folk."
"Yeah but why a cat?" I asked, stuffed the assorted papers into my backpack. "You, like, couldn't have picked a worse animal. Dad and me are super allergic. Could you, I dunno, be a dog or something instead?"
Death seemed pretty affronted by this idea.
"A dog?! Those slobbering menaces!? I shall become no such thing! Cats are an apex predator, fine tuned to hunt and kill. I shall not become man's slave-"
"Look dude. It was an idea. Don't get your panties in a twist." I rolled my eyes and shouldered my backpack. "I'm heading to school. Please, be something else when I get back, I'd rather not be a glasses nerd." He started to protest but I was gone before he could even get a word out. I was already late, no need to make it later.
When lunch rolled around like it always does, I was thoroughly exhausted. Because the whole adventure last night had not been a dream, I was seriously sleep deprived.
Collapsing into the empty bench next to Eric I began rummaging through my lunch box, looking for something actually edible in the hurriedly packed thing. Eric must've been pretty distracted, 'cause when I pulled a sponge from the bag he didn't even bat an eye. When I finally located something actually lunch worthy (Half a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter), I decided to confront the usually hyper boy about his behavior.
You know, by whacking him in the back of the head.
"Ow! What was that for!?" He finally looked up from his phone and at me, rubbing his head and grimacing.
"I sat down ten minutes ago and you haven't even acknowledged me. What the heck is so interesting you can't even give your best friend a hello?"
Blinking, he tilted his head in a look of confusion. "You haven't heard?"
Eric's face lit up and his eyes took up a shine that I only saw when he was really excited about something. Swiping through his phone real fast, he pulled up a picture and thrust it in my face. I took it as he began to blather, something about magic or whatever, but I wasn't really listening. There on his screen was Mary, standing on a tall rooftop in that ridiculous getup, her stick in the air and her face positively regal.
Dread snuck into my gut as I began to scroll through the rest of the pictures. Most of them were of Mary, but there were some clear shots of me as well. Clear as in recognizable. I began hyperventilating, thinking of all the paparazzi who would swarm my house, the scientists that would demand testing, and my peers who would want to talk to me.
Eric snapped me out of my stupor, reminding me of the much more important aspect at play.
"You haven't posted those online yet have you?!" I asked, voice frantic.
He looked at me confused again. "Han. Did you hear a word I said? I found those online. It's all over the news."
All over the news?! Crap. I had no time. As soon as anyone saw me I-
It then occurred to me that I was at school, and had been at school for several hours. Sneaking a glance around me, I realized that I was getting just as much attention as I normally would; none. Was I really that unremarkable? The images had been pretty clear, anyone could easily see it was Mary and I in the photos. Had honestly no one recognized me?
In a stupor I turned to Mary's side of the cafeteria, looking for the girl. She was there, surprisingly, surrounded by the same followers as normal. No one was questioning her, it just seemed to be a normal conversation. I stared, mouth agape, as the world continued on, as though nothing amazing had happened.
Were teenagers really that stupid?
Eric was continuing on, not even noticing my distracted state.
"-as cool as that is I can't help but question 's weapon choice. How is a frying pan an effective tool in combat?"
That hit a nerve. After a whole lecture from Death on how my frying pan 'wasn't a legitimate weapon', my tired state couldn't really take it anymore.
"Well I'm sorry. It was a stressful night and 'frying pan' was the first thing that came to mind."
I huffed and stuffed another glob of peanut butter in my mouth. My irritation kept me from noticing Eric's face at first, but it wasn't long before I caught sight of utter shock emanating from him.
"...Ricky? You okay?"
He shook his head, as if clearing a his mind.
"Sorry. For a second there I thought you said you were ."
I just looked at him.
Pulling up the clearest photo that he had, I held it by my face and just waited.
It took him a minute, but eventually the realization dawned on him.
And then you know… he started freaking out
The day only got worse from there.
Wassup guys? What a month and a half since I've last updated?
Yeah, that sounds about right.
I've been having a bit of a writers block so for once the next chapter is NOT done. (I like to finish the next chapter before posting on here. Gives Demon Cat and others enough time to review it and check for mistakes)
When will chapter 7 come out?
It might be a while.
If you're itching for something to read you can try my older story Wishing for Sugar or my webcomic at LifeOfAStoryteller. TheWebcomic. com (without the spaces of course)
Or go to the library! That place is great.
Anyway, have a nice day and happy (late) new year!