A/N: I've decided to rewrite this, but only a few changes will be made throughout this story. Every single chapter will have some sort of song name, and kudos to whoever spots the artist by the end of the chapter.
I Just Wanna Be Yours
Summary: I kept saying that I wasn't good enough; that I didn't deserve you. But you sure surprised me. You wanted to be with me, despite who I was. You saw past those faults of mine, and just wanted to hear me say, "I wanna be yours."
*Asking For It*
I looked at myself in the mirror I hung up in my locker, sighing. A picture of my ex-girlfriend Amber was still taped on, for I had yet to take it off and throw it in the trash. Or a fire pit. I'm easy.
And I don't mean easy as in I always strut around looking for a girl to impregnate. In fact, when it comes to girls, I'm probably one of the pickiest bastards in my school, bested only by my good friend Syaoron. He only dated Swedes or Fins for some reason; he had a thing for Scandinavian girls.
As if I summoned him, I saw his shadow appear over my shoulder. "Yo." I turned around to see him, and he looked incredibly bored, but with a new feature. "Dude…why the fuck did you dye your hair orange? How high were you?" 'He had to be on that new pot he and Austin have been trying to grow for the last month…'
Syaoron shrugged, smiling. "Dunno. I just hope Alana doesn't kill me for this." His girlfriend was the shortest senior in our school, and he was one of the tallest guys, standing at 6' 4", even though he was Japanese through and through.
He looked behind us and swore, sighing. "Shit." I turned to see his girlfriend Alana stalking towards him, and I could hear her blasting sum 41 from her headphones. She had…peculiar tastes. "Well? Care to tell me why you decided to do that to your gorgeous hair?"
Syaoron shared a nervous glance at me, mouthing, 'Help me!' I let out a small snort, shaking my head. "You are on your own with this. Don't worry; I'm sure her and Yue won't make you eat surstromming for it." Alana shuddered at the mention of the horrid Swedish dish, swinging a massive case across her back. "I wouldn't be that cold. I just didn't want you to ruin your hair with that."
As Syaoron tried to defend his actions, I watched as I saw someone I have been pining after for the last few weeks. 'Deja…' She was very close to me in height, and I loved how her big brown eyes seemed to lock onto me. I would give anything to be able to hold her close to me and run my hand through her soft black hair.
Yet, I knew it was unlikely. And it wasn't because she was black and I was white. I didn't care about race when it came to a potential love interest, though if it was a white girl, I wouldn't even bother trying. White girls annoyed me to high hell with their stupid dramatic bullshit.
It was because I couldn't find anything I could potentially give her. I was 18, while she was only 15 due to being born late in the year. 'She deserves someone who can keep her safe, make her happy. There's no way I can do that for her…'
Syaoron followed my gaze, and he nudged my shoulder, making me stumble. "Well, are you going to do it?" I felt heat rise to my face, and I started to stumble over my words. "W-what are you talking about?" 'He couldn't possibly know what's going through my head. Or am I that fucking easy to read emotionally?'
He laughed, one of his arms around Alana's shoulder. "Come on, bro. I can tell that you think she's cute. Don't stare after her like some sort of lovesick puppy. Make your move." I sighed and shook my head, tearing off the picture of my ex and tossing it to him. "Burn this for me, will you? And I have nothing to offer her. Deja deserves so much more than I can give." 'I can't give her anything worthwhile. I'm just some gothic skater asshole who's an alcoholic and hangs out with a bunch of stoners and a lesbian, apart from Alana.'
"I don't wanna waste my time! And become another casualty of society—" Alana blushed as her headphones unplugged, and I chuckled as she fumbled with her iPod. "Fat Lip, huh?" She nodded in embarrassment, her face red as people stared at her. "Mmhm…I've been trying to play the bass line on it for the last week."
"Better than what I've been doing for the last week," a heavy Swedish voice muttered from behind me. I let my head crash into my locker, not bothering to turn around. "Hi Yue. Glad to see you managed to drag yourself in today instead of sitting around smoking weed and fucking Marisa."
My comment earned me a snicker from Syaoron and a hard hit over the head with a textbook from Yue. "Asshole." I rubbed my head, wincing. "Ow…you hit really hard, you know that? One would think you were a dominant one." She smacked me again, her eyes slits. "Shut up." As I rubbed my head in slight pain, she turned onto Syaoron. "Now, what in the name of all that's fucking holy were you thinking of when you decided to dye your goddamn hair? Seriously? Fucking orange?"
The Asian male shrugged, smiling nervously. "Well, Austin and I were sitting around listening to Sublime in my basement, waiting for your stoner ass I might add, when we got bored of waiting and decided to try this new weed he grew called the 'White Widow'. After that, one of us said, 'We should dye our hair', and boom. Look what happened."
Yue sighed and shook her head, rapping him on his head with the palm of her hand. "Moron." I scoffed, throwing my skateboard into my locker and grabbing a few notebooks out. "Like you can talk. You got so fucking high that you dyed your hair pink." 'I'm practically asking her to hit me. I know her hatred of pink better than anyone.'
Syaoron ducked as Yue swung her arm around, catching me in the ribs. "It's light-ish red!" I winced as I felt my side, for the girl definitely packed a punch. "There's a color for light-ish red. You know what it's called? Fucking pink!" 'And I definitely didn't deserve that bullshit. I tell the truth, and what happens? I get a concussion.'
"You're just asking for it now," Alana winced, shuffling. "Yue, don't kill him. He's got a point, you know…" Yue let out a growl before lowering her fist. She wouldn't ever cause tremendous pain in front of the innocent blonde, mainly because she didn't want to get the poor girl scarred for life. "Alright…"
The Swedish girl followed my gaze as I looked at Deja, and her lips curved into an amused smirk. "Aw, look who has a crush~. And she's a real cutie~. I admire your taste, kiddo~." I rolled my eyes, walking away to my homeroom. "Oh shut the fuck up…" 'Goddammit. I don't want your lesbian self trying to corrupt her. I'm pretty confident that she's straight and a virgin.'
'At least you have one thing in common.'
'Oh, fuck you. I'm straight, asshole.'
'That's what I meant. You know damn well your ass isn't an innocent little flower. You lost that shit awhile ago to your bitchy ex.'
'Goddammit…I fucking hate you. And don't ever mention Amber again. We didn't exactly leave on good terms.'
I shook my head, groaning in irritation as I pushed my way through the immense crowd of annoying people that I had to put up with every damn day of high school. The only upsides were being able to bullshit with my selected handful of friends and have a bunch of alcohol courtesy of both Syao and Austin during lunch. The bastards were good at sneaking that crap into school on a daily basis.
I took my seat in homeroom, ruffling my hair back out of my face. "What a bunch of assholes…" The rest of the class filed in, some talking about some stupid and lame party that happened last weekend, and others pretending to be cool by bragging about their first ever drink or smoke. 'Phony shitheads. You think you're all so badass, and yet you are nothing more than a bunch of wannabe bandwagon dickholes. What fucking posers.'
What pissed me off most about ninety-percent of my classmates was the fact that they were all merely followers. None of them had any fucking brains to take initiative towards anything. Not to mention they complained about fucking everything, acting as though they have a tough life because some girl who wasn't a stupid spoiled whore doesn't want to have sex with them. 'Keep acting like a herd of useless sheep. None of you assholes will ever reach the pretend goals you have.'
Syaoron and Austin took their seats next to me, kicking their feet up on their desks. "Yo. Having fun cursing every single bastard in the school?" I scoffed, meeting their amused gaze. "Oh, shut up. What kind did you bring?" 'At least I have friends who have my back, and vice-versa. As for you phony fucktards: your supposed friends would leave your ass in a heartbeat if that was what the crowd was doing, and you would do the same thing to them. And yet, you wonder why I hate nearly all of you.'
"Malibu, Jagermeister, and Svedka," Austin replied, yawning. "You finish Cag's homework?" I snorted, rolling my eyes. "Dude, when the fuck have I ever done homework in the entire time you've known my ass? You know damn well that I see that shit as a waste of my time. I haven't done homework since elementary school, man." 'Homework is such a joke. I can use that time do more important things, like go to hockey practice.'
'Or maybe take Deja back to your place?'
'Oh shut up…' The thought of some prick like me taking a cute and sweet girl like Deja to my house was almost laughable. And yet, I couldn't stop myself from feeling the way I did about her. From the first time I laid eyes on her, I've felt an immediate pull towards her. And it wasn't lust; I've already been there and done that. This feeling was different. She made me feel warm inside, even though I was a bitter bastard who hated everything. 'I can't stop thinking about her. She's always on my mind. I must be insane to think I could ever get that chance to go out with her.'
'Then what the fuck are you waiting for, dumbass? You want that asshole Billy to take her and make you live in regret? Make your move. The worst thing she could say is that she's just not into you like that. And what's the best thing she could say?'
'She could jump into my arms and say yes?'
'There you go. Look; you have Robotics with her right before lunch, right? Take your chances then. Stop thinking of it as an impossible task. Think of it as when you're in the shootout, and it's just you and the opposing goaltender. Fifty-fifty odds you'll score or he'll make the save on you. Though as you're a sniper, your odds are a tad higher in that category.'
I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. "I just have to ask her, huh? I don't know what'll happen…but I have to try and give it my all." 'I'm fucking done having just pointless sex. I want a real relationship that'll become something even more. I want a girl who's sweet and loves me, despite who I am. And Deja just might be that girl.'
'I only have to ask for a chance…'
A/N: Finished…thanks for reading (if you did. Those who didn't…well, you know what you can do. Shove it up ye arse! Lol JK guys), and I'll hopefully get more soon.