A/N: Hey guys, DPLxBeAsTxSnIpE here with Chapter 2 of I Just Wanna Be Yours. I want to say thank you for those who have reviewed it, and I am taking those suggestions into account. If you are ever interested in other/upcoming works, I have a list on my bio to check out :)
P.S. sorry if there's any typos. I was drunkenly playing Skyrim while writing this, and I have to warn you; there ARE some sensitive themes in this chapter (not ultra bad, but definitely not the easiest stuff in the world to write).
I Just Wanna Be Yours
Summary: I kept saying that I wasn't good enough; that I didn't deserve you. But you sure surprised me. You wanted to be with me, despite who I was. You saw past those faults of mine, and just wanted to hear me say, "I wanna be yours."
*If It's Love…*
The first thing I was aware of when I woke up in the middle of my Chemistry class was the water hitting my face. 'You have got to be fucking kidding me. Can't even take a nap without things going to hell.'
I had fallen asleep in class for probably the tenth day in a row, not surprising since it was the beginning of hockey season. Chemistry was one of those few classes where I was semi-decent in but didn't particularly care for; I only took it because it was mandatory.
In the room (or lab, as the pretentious ass in charge liked to call it), there were at least ten overhead sprinklers that were very sensitive to smoke and went off if even the tiniest flame was detected. Unfortunately, I was in the group that had set them off. The group consisting of Yue, Syao, Austin, and myself. Also known as the future pyromaniacs that would probably be responsible for the next school burning.
It was akin to your older brother being a dick and dumping a bucket of ice water on your head when you're taking a hot shower, just trying to think about how much life sucks and enjoy the Sublime music you have blaring from your phone like a thirty-year-old pothead from California. It sucked, in more ways than I could care to list.
My normally clean blonde hair was soaked, and as I rubbed my eyes with an irritated grumble, I could hear Syao apologizing while Yue howled in laughter. "Sorry man. Didn't mean to wake you up. Yue tried to mix two things that really shouldn't go together, and set the sprinklers off."
"Funny. I thought it was merely the pool on the roof having a leak," I returned, giving the guilty party a hard stare. The fact that it was Yue responsible for this latest incident was no surprise; she had a habit of going out with her girlfriend and trying to light random crap on fire in her backyard when bored. If any of us were going to end up in jail for our love of fire, it was her. "For hell's sake Yue, if you're going to dump water on me, at least make it relatively warm. You know I hate the cold." 'How the hell she loves the cold, I'll never understand. What did she do, take baths in ice as a child or something?'
"Aww, are you all hot and bothered? Maybe you should…'cool down'," the tall blonde girl smirked, playing a badum-tish from her phone. Another thing about my good friend that drove me mental at times but secretly enjoyed: her shitty puns. Yue had a strange fascination and borderline annoying habit of saying incredibly awful puns at various times of a day. They were capable of making one either get frustrated to the point of wanting to strangle her or be that one guy/girl who would give her a medal for the Pun of the Day. I'd never admit it to her, but there were many times where her terrible puns helped me get through an otherwise crappy day.
"Boo. Boo!" Syao shook his head with a laugh, his orange hair spraying droplets everywhere. The sprinklers eventually shut off once our teacher Mr. Bratt found the damn switch, and he was not happy as he gave our group a glare. His lab coat was drenched, and his horrendously dorky Coke bottle glasses were askew.
"These are highly volatile chemicals, and should be treated with the utmost respect and care," he growled, his beady gaze fixating on me. He knew I spent more time in the principal's office than just about anyone apart from Yue, and often assumed that anything disastrous that happened in his class was my doing. "If you are not capable of acting your own age, then you can leave and let the intellectuals concentrate."
'Oh please. No one in the class gives a damn about the stupid subject. We're only taking it because it's a requirement to graduate from this disgusting hellhole of a school,' I thought bitterly. The fact that the guy was still under the impression that his students enjoyed the subject was almost sad. Pretty much every bit of conversation regarding either him or the course itself was filled with various insults, ranging from the typical, "Asshole" and "Douche bag," comments to the more creative ones that ought to be put in a Snark Bible. Hell, I'd help write it, if one didn't exist. "Whatever…"
I didn't feel like digging myself a grave, especially considering my mile long track record in this class. The only reason I wasn't getting an immediate referral was because there was no way he could prove it was my fault. 'I swear, this guy just has a petty grudge. Needs to get over the fact I didn't think that stupid detention was worth going to.'
"Let it go, man," Syao murmured. "Coach doesn't want you to be late for practice because you got a detention. We got two newbies this year." Syao and I were on our school's hockey team, and our coach didn't take kindly to one of his stars not showing up on time. Missing practice was a sure way to find myself in the press box.
Being on the ice was probably the only time I could really calm down and think, despite the speed the game was played at. Sure, it was physically demanding, and my relatively scrawny stature didn't make things easier for me in that aspect. But something about lacing those skates up and gliding on the ice, or the feeling when I bury that piece of vulcanized rubber in the back of the net helped me stay sane. 'That's right. Scheduled practice for those two new kids who joined the team. Adrian and Tyrell, if I'm correct.' "Have you gotten a chance to see how they play?"
"Yeah. Adrian's a speedy winger with some fine puck skills," Syao replied, picking up a maroon towel to help wipe up the water on the desk we were using. "Kid's probably going to end up on your line with Kurt and let Andrei slot down to the second line. He beat Ray with the Forsberg move first try. Tyrell's a big beast of a defenseman; he's a guy you want on the ice during the penalty kill, and he has a tremendous slap shot. Not to mention he's willing to get a little scrappy if the situation calls for it."
I let a smile grace my features at the mention of fighting; if there was one thing that was almost guaranteed, it was a fight breaking out in the middle of a game. Our crowds loved it; there was nothing more entertaining than a boxing match on ice skates. "Good. That means Joe can spend less time in the damn penalty box and more time unleashing one-timers from the point." 'Great guy, but spends too much time staring at the game from the Sin Bin.'
"Ha! As if Joe's going to let a rookie take his spot that easily," Yue scoffed, overhearing us. "How many penalty minutes does he have so far? 126? He's been in more fights than anyone else on the team. Guy can't even make it through a game without purposely shoving someone on their ass. Count yourself lucky he's never been your defensive partner, Syao; he'd probably drive you nuts."
"You haven't seen anything yet. He's probably trying to fuck with the opposing team by putting a rubber snake in their locker-room."
"Wouldn't put it past him," I agreed, helping my partners clean up the mess we had accidentally caused. I was excited for the upcoming game the next day, but as I saw her walk past the open door of my class, I felt my heart skip a beat. 'And there she is. Deja. Beautiful brown eyes, silky hair, and is a sweetheart. Damn, to think that I'm borderline lusting over a girl almost three years younger. I thought the word for that was 'pervert'.'
It really was laughable. I, Alan Stewart, was pretty much the exact opposite of her in every damn way. I was the kind of guy who got kicked out of skate spots on a daily basis, spent a decent amount of time in the back of police cars, drank underage, and had already slept with someone. Definition of myself was summed up in two words: total jackass. So the idea of getting out of that cursed spot known as the 'Friend Zone' with a girl who was kind, innocent, and morally good was one that really made me just want to poke fun at myself in the mirror. 'Dammit. Why did it have to be someone like her that makes me feel all gooey? Ugh. Did I really just use the word, 'gooey'? Fuck this.'
While many of the people I hung out with (Syao, Austin, Yue, and her girlfriend Marisa) smoked weed as a part of their daily ritual, I wasn't one to smoke. Usually, I just hung around as they burned and helped get them home if they were too high to drive. Syao had cut back in recent months due to the random piss tests him and I were forced to take thanks to being on the hockey team, and I had my own demons. Namely, the bottle.
My addiction with that poison started when I was still only 15, a good six years underage. I was with a girl by the name of Jennifer at the time, and we were possibly made for each other. Something about ourselves made the other swoon, feel warm and just happy overall. And yet, as fate would have it, we would never be together officially as a couple.
I was at the skatepark near my house on this certain summer day, hanging out and talking to her on the phone. Our conversation was definitely romantic, and she was going to the beach with her mother for a week.
A driver fleeing from a hit and run rammed into their car while I was still on the phone with her, and I heard those shrill agonized screams as it happened. Panicking, and hoping to whatever God existed that she would be okay, that I could still see the person I felt could be my life partner, I ran the two miles over to the scene. I had never run so fast or hard in my life, and when I arrived, it was a mess. The smell of burnt flesh was rancid, bits of glass dug into the heels of my shoes, the heat of melting metal burning my own skin. And that's when everything came crashing to a halt.
I don't quite remember what happened after I saw her lifeless body lying on the ground. I remember hearing a noise that could have been the equivalent of ultimate suffering and despair. The sound of a heart shattering into a thousand tiny shards. After that, everything turned red. Red as the blood that pooled around Jen's limp form.
The next thing I can vividly remember is waking up in bed, my hands covered in bandages. I had hoped it was nothing more than a horrible nightmare that I just escaped, but those hopes were quickly dashed when I was hugged by a sobbing Amber, who confirmed that Jen was pronounced dead at the scene.
Ever since, I haven't been the same. For days I neither slept nor ate, and even now I don't get many hours of sleep. My loss of appetite eventually went away, yet dreams of that horrible memory still haunt my mind, and the fact I never got to tell Jen that I loved her is something that eats me daily.
The second week after her untimely demise, I was once again kept up at night by images of seeing her dead, and I eventually broke. I looked for something, anything, that was capable of getting me a decent night's sleep. I found it, in the back of the fridge and a black cap atop a slender white bottle labeled 'Malibu'.
I had picked it up nervously, for I had never drunk before and was afraid my mother or father would kill me if they found out. And as I stood there in a pair of shorts with music blaring from the basement, the bottle seemed to fit perfectly in my hand, and I made that choice.
I unscrewed the cap and took my first ever swig.
It burned at first, but once I got used to it, it felt…good. I felt more at ease than I did, and I took another two chugs before putting the rum back in the fridge and going in for the night. Drinking did help me sleep through the night, and I became what I am now. An eighteen year-old depressed alcoholic who hangs around weed smokers and doesn't give a damn what the rest of the world thinks.
Or rather, I don't care what everyone apart from my friends and Deja thought.
I watched her go by, maybe for a second too long. Our eyes met, and instead of doing what other girls might have done and grimace, she smiled and waved. She didn't know it, but that little gesture did more for me than I showed. That dread I had of asking her out was replaced by hope. Hope that maybe life wouldn't remain a massive pile of shit for me.
Hope that maybe, I had a second chance at love.
A/N: And that's a wrap. I know it does seem a little emo, but I just love tormenting my characters a bit XD. You think this is bad, just wait until this story and Bad Luck Charm are complete. I have something that'll fuck with your emotions in planning *insert classic evil laugh here*
Until next we meet,
P.S. written while listening to "Santeria" by Sublime.