This is just a quick prologue to a story I'm working on. I thought I'd post this to see what people think (if it's good, not good, needs improvement). I plan for this to be a Children's story but I'm not sure if it'll be too long or not. Any feedback is appreciated. Thanks. (In response to the recent guest review-you're right, this isn't finished. This is only the beginning. It's still a work in progress but I thought to post this as a small prologue. Thanks for the feedback.)
Cherish The Moments
Snow sprinkles outside Ebonie Huberman's bedroom window. She smiles. Winter's her favorite time of the year—she gets to spend more time with her best friend, on their vacation off from school, and help her mother decorate the house for Christmas.
"Ebonie," her mother calls from the kitchen, "Dinner's ready. Please come sit down."
The auburn-haired child quickly gets up from the window-seal and walks down the hall to their dining room. She sits down in the chair beside her brother—who's already digging in to the homemade mashed potatoes. "This looks yummy!"
"It is," her brother, Julian, assures with a mouthful of food in his mouth.
The family shares a laugh before the three others start in on the meal. Mrs. Huberman looks up from her plate to stare over at her daughter. "Are you and Adeline planning to take part in the Christmas Choir again this year? Her mom told me it starts on Sunday, so you need to make up your mind soon if you are," she questions, her eyebrows arched.
Ebonie nods her head, swallowing a bite of ham. "Of course, we are. That gives us even more time to hang out together, mom!"
The older woman shakes her head with a light laugh, "I should have known. You'll have to give her a call, though, to let her know so her mom can sign the both of you up."
With a nod and smile, Ebonie quickly finishes her dinner and hurries off to her room to make the phone call.
Adeline Iverson perches herself on the couch beside her mother as they rummage through a bin of ornaments. She smiles, grabbing her favorite one—a Minnie Mouse trinket brought home from her very first trip to Disneyworld two years ago—and hanging it onto their shimmery Christmas tree.
"Ah," Adeline's father starts off, coming in from the kitchen with a tray of fresh-baked cookies. He places the tray on the coffee table and stands over the tree, admiring the work his two beloved girls have done. "Looks beautiful as always. All that decorating must be tiring—I'd say it's time for a cookie break, wouldn't you agree?"
The brunette child happily grabs a cookie off the plate and delves into it. "Those taste almost the same as abuela's use to," she exclaims.
"Hey, don't let dad fool you," Mina—her mother—playfully retorts, folding her arms over her chest as she gives a stare over to her husband. "I'm the one who spent hours baking those cookies this morning, using my mama's recipe."
Richard cheekily smiles, placing a tender hand onto his wife's shoulder. "And ya did a mighty-fine job, my love."
Adeline watches her parents with a beaming grin. She wouldn't trade her family for anything, she thinks.