I am a loser. But this is how I feel about the Rolling Stones, the world's greatest rock and roll band. Please comment nicely!

All my life I've hated myself. I hate life all the time except when I listen to the Rolling Stones. I want the whole world to know how the Rolling Stones make me feel. When I was a kid I read a magazine article about a boy in an English school who hung himself because the teacher said he couldn't wear his hair long like the Rolling Stones anymore. To me that boy was a hero. He laid down his life for the Rolling Stones. That's what I'd like to do.

When I was a Marine Sergeant during Operation Desert Storm the whole platoon had to march over to the legal office to make out our wills. I told the other Marines I was going to leave everything to Mick Jagger. I meant it too! During Desert Storm I was scared all the time, except for the one moment when I made a joke about Mick Jagger and the Rolling Stones. It seems to me that Mick Jagger gave me his own courage and for that one minute I really was a Marine and not a loser in a Marine uniform.

I wish that when I had my M16 I could have been in a real war as a Marine rifleman with Mick Jagger as the platoon commander. I wish that the two of us could have been out on patrol, and walking down a path in the jungle. Then suddenly an ambush breaks out, but I seem to know a split second ahead of time and I throw myself out in front of the bullet! I get hit right in the chest or the belly and I go down, bleeding to death. But the last thing I see is Mick Jagger, grabbing the rifle out of my hands and shooting back, shooting the people who killed me, fighting to prove my life meant something and I was someone after all. THE END!