Memoirs of a Troll

Dear Reader now follows a tale of some woe

With an ending as sad as can be,

For I shall tell of a time long ago

When three vandals visited me.

I once owned a garden, split by a stream

Which I tended with nary a care

The flora was perfect the grass glossy green

And many fine creatures lived there

But one day I awoke to a terrible sound

Trip Trap, Trip Trap Trip it did go

I still struggle to tell, the horrors I found

My garden was gone, What a blow!

The three culprits I spied crossing the stream

Their eyes filled with cruel disregard

Straight for my veg went this hope crushing team,

You can see why to this day I am scarred.

Now here's where most stories will make me sound mean

But I say what you've read is all lies

I did not hurt them. Not me, that's obscene

Merely scared them, it took several tries

I tried shouting and sneaking, even dressed in a sheet

But these wretches were made of stern stuff

A more horrible three I hope never to meet

Than the fearsome Billy Goats Gruff.

They laughed as they chased me across my own land

My terror only fuelling their glee,

I ran and I ran till I could barely stand

Oh curse those bothersome three!

When at last they grew bored of their mischievous game

They tossed me straight into the brook

And long have I had to live with the shame

That my story has become a Kid's book!