I am a Nilisist.

What dose that mean?

Nothing.

it only means I care little of what happens to me or the world.

The only way I can feel anymore.

Is through art.

Art as a form, not as a thing.

A good book can have me on edge, while having a knife to my throat warrants no response.

A strange thing.

We as humans wish to keep existing.

But why try when it is futile?

We will stop existing no matter what.

Why dose it matter if it happens now or later?

This is no suicide note.

No, I'm just saying I don't care if I die now, tomorrow, or a year from now.

My work, my effort, NONE of it will last.

Everything will fade.

It's the nature of our universe.

But if there is one thing that keeps my eyes shining bright.

That is art.

An escape from the world we currently exist in.

A way to express complex feelings that no other person may ever sympathise with,

And still succeed in captivating anyways.

A way to activate our human brains and feel a part of a bigger picture, outside the confines of what we know to be.

Even if its 'a waste of time',

Its time I don't mind wasting.

Because in the end,

Everything fades.