When self proclaimed master prankster and film geek, Steven Parker, entered his junior year, he intended to get through it unscathed and under the radar.
What he didn't expect, however, was for one harmless prank he pulled in hopes of impressing the golden girl, Tricia Matthews, to blow up in his face and turn his world upside down. In a blink of an eye, his Superman boxers made him the joke of the Internet.
His best friend, Stella Martin, has ditched him for a taller, richer guy who can recite the entirety of "Back to the Future" in a British accent. His dad has moved in with a younger, tree hugging woman, and his mom won't stop smiling. Suddenly, women are chasing him left and right, and internet fame has landed him a ticket from playing videos games to partying with the crowd he vowed never to conform to.
As lifelong friendships crumble and romance blooms, will Steven realize what's been standing right in front of him all along?
I never expected myself to say these words out loud, much less share them on camera for thousands of people to view, but there's a first time for everything. Let this be a guide of how not to present yourself, or perhaps I can invoke some sympathy towards a public support group gone wrong.
I'm a douche-bag.
Now, before you go thinking that I'm some lunatic with no self-esteem, you should read on to get the full story.
I am a douche-bag, and I'm proud of it.
You don't find douches very often as most people are stuck between the typical a*sholes and bitches, but sometimes you'll find the odd pair lurking in between your unwashed underwear.
Alright, from here on, no more swearing, well, only when it's absolutely necessary.
I'll be honest here; I'm not proud of everything I've done in the past year. I single-handedly destroyed a few of my friendships, almost ruined my parents' chance at new found love, and scared away plenty of my own promising relationships.
To this day, I still can't believe how different of a person I was seven months ago than I am now.
In this past year, I've learned that it's okay when shit doesn't turn out as planned.
It's okay if you're not like anyone else, or if you've made mistakes in your past. Forget the circumstances; you'll always be a real winner if you surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you.
I just wish it didn't take me so long to figure that out.
This isn't the story of how I became a viral sensation.
Or how I ended up kissing my best friend (a girl, mind you), when she already had a guy of her own.
Or how I sacrificed all of my friends just so I could get my ex-crush to notice me. Oh, and let's not forget how I almost failed English class.
Or even how I went from the dorky class clown, to someone as popular as the football jocks, to a jerk hated by the entire school.
Well, not quite the entire school. I had my trusty paper bag to hide behind, with the infamous "douche-bag" written on it.
And only then would Frankie Burton let me sit next to him, yes, the same Frankie Burton who'd spend his lunch hours digging up leftover garbage from the cafeteria to save as an afternoon snack.
All while slipping ice cubes down people's shirts. And I don't mean any old ice cubes; I'm talking about ones that he had put in his mouth first. Gross.
Yes, my social status had reached a new low. But this is the story of how I managed to get through all of it, without getting expelled.
I realize that I'm not making any sense, so perhaps I should start this story from the beginning.
Well folks? Are you ready?
It all started with some disorderly conduct...
A.N. Hey you! Thanks for clicking onto my story. I've been writing this story on and off for the past five years, and much of these characters are near and dear to my heart. The first 25 chapters have been posted on Wattpad, so if you don't want to wait weekly for an update, free feel to hop over there and check it out. It's the same title and username.
Overall, this story is intended to be light-hearted and humorous coming of age story, but as the plot reaches its climax, it will become a lot more emotional and heartbreaking.
Please keep in mind that this story is not finished yet.
After the initial prewritten chapters have been published, updates may be few and far in between. That said, I hope you all will join me in Steven's journey as he navigates through the tribulations of adolescence.