Why can't I feel the right way?
I've never been just right,
I always feel too strong or too little,
But nothing feels the same all of the sudden.
I'm open and new and scared.
All of these new ideas in my head;
All of these new voices whispering to me.
Why am I so different?
What's wrong with me?
Why can no one see how much I'm hurting?
How am I supposed to feel?
My thoughts are haunting me.
All of the problems I cause,
All of the heartache I bring,
Why can't I be someone else?
Why can't I be someone braver?
Why can't I pull the trigger?
Why can't I use the knife?
Oh, that's right.
I'm too scared…
I wish I could go back.
I wish I could feel what I used too;
Nothing at all.
Too numb to care.
Too numb to feel.
But that went away and left me bare.
I was always wanted to be different.
I always wanted to feel more.
Now I just wish I couldn't feel at all.