Killing Myself

I am killing myself, but it's not what you think

Not something to do with any pills or drink

It happens slowly, throughout each day

When the colors in the sky are a little more gray

Get a little bit darker, feel a little bit worse

I try hard to smile, yet I somehow feel cursed

I want you to see me, who I truly am

Not this mask, this charade, this scam

I am broken and afraid, lost and alone

I want to feel safe, with no place to call home

My mind is haunted, frayed and shattered

The feeling of love gone, beaten, battered

Yet still I am breathing, and I still try to act

As if my whole life, isn't totally cracked

Like I'm not drowning, while still taking in air

Moping around, while there's no one to care

Look in to my eyes, tell me what do you see?

I can only pray, that you truly see me

It has all become painful, I want it to end

But I fear I've become too good at pretend.