In Response to "Trying To Be A Good Dad In The Age Of Bad Men"

I Am Defending Your Son, Because You Have Chosen To Presume Him Guilty Before He's Even Committed A Crime

By Peter Hall


To the unnamed author who wrote this editorial, first off let me say that it's good that you are aware of the dangers that females the world over, and even in The United States of America face every single day. It's good that you are not only aware of it, but that you have committed yourself to fighting this evil. It's good that your daughter has a father who is committed to loving, supporting and protecting her. It's good that you're son has a father who is committed to teaching him how to behave respectfully and responsibly around women. Every boy needs a father who is willing to do this.

What is not good however, in fact what I find downright reprehensible is that you have assumed that your son who is only four years old; will grow up to be a misogynistic bastard that delights in disrespecting and abusing woman. Your own words reveal that you believe that every man, young or old, rich or poor, is by their very nature misogynistic and hateful towards women. "I am absolutely dead certain that my son will be encouraged by other boys and men to demean women, and that he will do so without hesitation so that he can be accepted. If you are a man, your own life experience should be all the proof you need of that statement."

This is simply not true, yes there is no denying that there are plenty of men who delight in disrespecting, using and abusing women, there are even men who are outright demons who take pleasure in raping, torturing, and killing them. We see the news about these atrocities every day, therefore it is understandable to be cynical and jaded about Humanity and the state of The World. But I cannot understand why you have automatically assumed that your own son will be like this. You are not like this, you don't go around disrespecting women. You probably think that just because you may have disrespected your mother, your wife, a female coworker at one time or another maybe even more than once on many occasions that this is your true nature. Newsflash! Women disrespect and mistreat men and other women as often as men disrespect and mistreat them. You alluded to this when you said you're going to teach your daughter to be wary of women that try to teach them how to be compliant, that being said there are plenty of women who are out to make the lives of other women miserable not for the sake of their "male overlords" but just because they can.

The fact of the matter is neither gender is completely good or completely evil; not all women are perfect little angels, and not all men are not total monsters. To be completely honest when I first read your editorial on The Huffington Post website, I was filled with anger and rage that you had thrown your four year old son "under 'the proverbial' bus." I wanted to write and send a hate and expletive filled response completely bashing you for what you had written. In fact I did just that in the comments section on Facebook where I had found the link to your editorial. It is obvious to me that you favor your daughter, your first born, over your son, whom I presume is your youngest child. That made me exceedingly angry, but after thinking about it for a few days, I realized that while I should admonish you for what you did, I should be respectful, calm and level headed while I did it.

I am not a father yet, so I don't know the joys and the tribulations of parenthood. I do however know that both your children, and any you have after, need and deserve equal love and equal support. I won't say they deserve Equal Treatment, because men and women are not Equal. Now I do not mean they are not "Equal Under The Law," because they are, and they should be. I mean that neither sex is Equal because both are separate and distinct from each other. Men and women are built differently, their minds work differently, they experience the same emotions in completely different ways. How men and women relate to each other, is not how men relate to other men, or how women relate to other women. That is why you cannot treat your son and daughter the same, because they are not the same, but you should show love and favor to both of them equally.

At the end of your editorial, you said "the most important lesson I can teach my son: when you grow up, the world will not be yours." The world does not belong to your daughter either. I unfortunately have a very strong and bad feeling that she believes, or will believe that the world does belong to her simply because she is female. I also have an equally strong and bad feeling that your son will grow up figuratively emasculated, unable to express himself for fear of offending women. I hope I am wrong.