A/N: Hello everyone, wow it's been awhile since I've visited this site. This is more of a test story than anything. I am just putting out crap that I hope is funny, since I'm a humor fan. We'll see how this goes.

It was a nice day - just kidding, it was too hot. As soon as you went outside, it felt like you were cooking alive. Thankfully no one was cookie dough, or they'd be done for. And no, I don't mean being cooked. I mean everyone would want to eat them. Good gracious, common sense people.

Some dude was in his bedroom, being antisocial as frick, just like me. Also because it was freaking hot outside and you'd have to have -10 IQ to want to go outside on this day. Apparently this dude's friends had this -10 1Q because they wanted to party. Outside. In the heat. Cookie-cooking heat. And they wanted him to come with. The dude thought they were all bonkers. There was no way in hell he was going-

"Sweetie, don't be anti-social," the dude's mom entered the room, flicking her hair like she was… I dunno, flirting or something. "You won't grow as a person if you do."

"For Heaven's sake, it's a cookie oven outside, Mom." the dude responded, rolling his arms.

"Well you're not a cookie," the mom replied. "And it's not that hot. The author is just overreacting." Shut up, the author is not overreacting.

"I don't care if they are or not, I'm not going outside," the dude declared. "I don't care how much food is at that party. It's not worth it in this heat."

"If you don't go I'll post your baby pictures on my Instagram." the mom replied, looking smug.

"Do you even know what Instagram is?" the dude asked.

"Of course I do," the mom replied. "It's a social website for mothers to connect."

"Whatever website you're visiting, I'm sure as hell it's not Instagram," the guy said, suddenly being called guy instead of dude. "And even if you do post those images, I don't care. So ha."

"No!" the mom weeped, falling to her knees. "That always works!"

"You just got owned gurl." the boy replied, now being called boy for some reason.

"Well then…!" the mother stood up. "I'll never bake chocolate chip cookies ever again!"

"Le gasp," the unnamed male character gasped, now being called the unnamed male- "Hey, author, we get it, you keep changing what you call me. Anyway, because those cookies can pretty much stop an alien invasion, I'll go to this party thing."

"Good boy!" the mom said, patting the male child like he was a dog.

"Woof!" the boy barked. He blushed. "I mean whatever chill momma." He groaned. "I really hope the author doesn't continue this crap…"