I'm Just Not Dead Yet


"Goddamnit…" I continued driving the IMV across the wasteland, desperate to find a place to take a small breather and call my boss.

For several miles I traveled the desert, with no sign of life nor a pit stop to at least get some drinks if I was gonna do my job in a region filled with raiders and mutants. Well that and a shit-ton of guns, a revolver was not gonna do the entire trick. I needed some serious firepower. But after about half an hour or so, I finally noticed something catch my eyes down the road. As I drove further into the heat, I saw that that something was a gas station, complete with a little store inside. I mean, it was no fast food place nor a motel but it was gonna have to do concerning the little mishap I ran into back there.

After some more painstaking driving, I eventually made it to the station, parking the big-ass infantry vehicle next to a gas pump. Hey, it had armored after all, couldn't pass up the opportunity. Having got out, I marched right into that store, desperate for hell, a soda and some fruit snacks. That would've been enough to keep me in a happy place. As I entered the store, my eyes darted all over the place hoping to find food and human contact. Well…there was food alright, but no human contact. There wasn't even a guy working at the register.

"You gotta be kidding me…" I lamented, taking several steps across the store, "Ah, fuck it."

Since there wasn't anyone in there, I figured I'd do the one thing you do in a wasteland: Loot! I started walking along the two aisles, scanning each item that was on display. One had all sorts of yummy shit; Candy, chips, fruit snacks, pretzels, you name it. The other, while it contained a corner of freezers for drinks, had nothing but miscellaneous stuff such as movies, newspapers which I doubt anyone buys these days, and comic books…nice.

"Let's see…" I looked down at the plethora of comics, picking a few up, "Johnny Gunslinger, best seller in the Lone Star state." I inspected the front covers of the rest, "Metallo, Cali's cybernetic warrior. Commander Stone, saving the CSA one battle at a time. Powerman: Hope and American Justice. Hmm…Ah, fuck it, I'll take'em all."

Having took all four of America Regio's best comic books, it was time I took my eyes away from the entertainment…aside from taking "Death-Monger" on DVD. Anyway, I finally begun snatching a few snacks; A bag of chips, some cashews, and a six-pack of Crockola. With no guy working the register, I jumped over the counter to find a bag. Once I had that, I put all the shit into it, doing double-takes at the windows in case any raiders were gonna show up. And just when I put the last item in the bag…

"Ah, shit." I whispered to myself, bearing witness to a gang of guys in a bunch of scrapped, metal armor climbing off a buggy armed with a big-ass minigun on the roof. The minute I saw that, I knew I was fucked, having only been armed with a fucking revolver after all. With only one smart way, I instantly snatched the bag of goodies and ran into the closet from behind the counter, shutting the door behind me.

As I hid quietly in the closet, I slowly slumped into the soft floor, overhearing the sounds of footsteps dominate the store, along with random thrashing around.

"Wow…" One man spoke, "…Sure has a lotta shit fer a guy livin on the border."

"Yeah." Said another guy, "Bettin he didn't think we'd be showin up around here."

I overheard noises of a bag of chips being opened…then some munching.

"Really?" A third raider asked, "Right now?"

"What? I'm hungry!"

"You just saw Reynolds get chopped in half by that Slade Blade asshole!"

"Gee! Thanks fer bringing that up, bitch!"

"Hey! Don't call me a fuckin bitch!"

"I'll call you whatever the fuck I want!"

"Aw, fuck-"

Several more sounds of crashing went off from the other side. As that happened, moans of two men getting it on replaced the abundance of footsteps in the store, creating nothing more than a shitload of crunching, not somebody eating chips but bags of chips collapsing and getting smashed on the floor. Hell, I even a single big crack on some glass. Yup, the two raiders that argued were getting into a fight. The realization quickly entered my mind. But then I asked myself: Exactly how long were they gonna battle it out? Because I had no intention of hiding in the closet forever…that came out wro-…damnit…I didn't wanna stay in the store for a long time, okay?

After a few minutes of doing nothing more than make sighs, I finally decided enough was enough. I needed to get the hell out. I didn't care how: Having a shootout, running off like a headless chicken, engaging in Fatal Kontest, whatever. I just wanted to leave. So…having took a deep breath of preparedness, I slowly turned the knob on the door, opening it up with as much gentleness as possible. As it became open enough to let a human being walk out upright, I took the opportunity to sneak out, getting hit by a cold breeze of the typical convenience store once more. Huh…rhymes. Anyway, since I came out of the closet-shit! I mean, once I got out, I had the chance to see where the two scuffling bastards were…they were just outside behind the store, whom seem to have left by using a window, judging by the big, cracked hole in one of them. I had assumed one guy threw the other out?

Well regardless, since I just wanted to leave, I didn't give half a damn about what the hell happened in there. I snatched my bag and proceeded to get the fuck out of the store, heading out into the dead heat of the desert (*Sigh*…just had to do this during April, did you?). As I entered the outside, I saw the very buggy the raiders arrived in, guarded by absolutely no one. With some stupidity, I decided to take a peek in the back, which I noticed carried some bags of shit that could've been necessary for my survival. When I started unzipping some duffel bags, I saw that they contained nothing but guns…and that was it; Assault rifles, SMGs, shotguns, you name it. Being a gun guy, well…a guy who likes "guns with great accuracy", I still couldn't pass up the chance. I managed to grab three of the five bags in there, taking them and my shit from the store to the armored truck I stole earlier, putting it all on the passenger seat. Now that I had resources for eating, drinking, fighting, and entertainment, I quickly headed over to the driver's seat of the IMV, turned on the ignition, and immediately took off from the area, heading off to the road again to find some actual shelter, not just taking cover inside of a closet to hide from a gang of raiders fighting over the word bitch.

As I drove, I took out my phone in hopes of seeing if I had a signal. However, when I pressed my thumb on the name of my boss to call him, a red satellite logo appeared in the center of the white screen saying "NO SIGNAL" just below, earning a "Damnit…" from me.

"Great…now I gotta find a motel or something…"