"You sick little freak!" the beautiful woman with the raven hair and a towel around her roared at the muscular, brown-haired, shirtless, bearded, cigarette-smoking young man.
"I'm sorry," he said, "I didn't know you were looking for a commitment-type thing."
"I told you that when we met!"
"I forgot," he replied lamely.
"It was last night!" She moved towards him, rage in her eyes.
"Where's Luc?" Polana asked. She was a beautiful cait-sith woman, petite but with large breasts and luscious blonde hair. She wore leopard-skin clothes that were rather revealing. Inside her mouth were sharp catlike teeth.
"With some girl from the tavern last night," Ironbody Titan said. A berserker wearing full armour and with a hardened icy stare, he was a force to be reckoned with both in an argument and on the battlefield, although usually on the battlefield, since he was a man of few words who didn't like to get involved in arguments.
"I could treat him way better than she could…" Polana said dejectedly.
"Don't worry Polana," a new person entered the conversation, if they could even be called a person. Poppy was a wisp, from the Southern Mists. They were a sentient cloud of energy and sometimes a vague form of a girl's face could be seen in just the right lighting.
"But, Poppy, he'll never like me…"
"He does," Poppy said, "We all know that Luc feels differently about you than about any of us. He doesn't try and act on that, though, because he's afraid of hurting you." Poppy had what could only be described as a robotic monotonous voice.
"Afraid of… Hurting me?" Polana said, her frown turning into a smile, "I never thought of it that way. Luc's an amazing guy, but he has so many one night stands and hurts girls, so maybe…"
Her sentence was interrupted by screams of wrath coming from the upstairs of the inn.
"Sounds like he just did it again," Ironbody said amusedly.
"You pig! You little worm! You libertine!" Things were being thrown across the room. Glasses smashed and lamps broke.
"Hey, calm down, I…"
"Do not tell me to calm down, HUMAN!"
Luc grabbed a shirt and his brown leather jacket which was his signature piece of clothing. He nervously threw the cigarette he was smoking out the open window which he had originally planned to be his escape route while this girl was still sleeping.
"You… You aren't human?"
"NO! I AM MONICA THE DEMON!"
Luc looked puzzled, "Should I know you?"
"I AM THE LAST DEMON IN THIS PART OF THE KINGDOM! HAVEN'T YOU SEEN THE WANTED POSTERS?!"
Horns began to protrude from her head and elongate. There was true fire in her eyes.
Luc had seen the posters of a demon girl, but he now only recognised because of the horns. At the tavern where they had met last night she seemed like a normal girl from around this area. But appearances, Luc noted to himself, could be misleading.
Damn it, Luc, you did it again.
"Hey, can't we talk about this?"
"NO!" he had to dodge a chest of drawers being hurled at him.
"I think you're interesting, and maybe if you'd like to…"
"STOP TRYING TO BARGAIN!" Monica had nothing left to throw, so she threw a ball of fire at him, which he narrowly avoided, almost singeing his perfectly-styled hair.
He moved towards the door, avoiding an onslaught of fire while also trying to button his shirt and looking around for a pair of trousers.
"Monica, look, you're a nice girl…"
"DON'T GIVE ME THAT!"
He opened the door and ran, a fireball chasing him down the hallway.
My gun! Luc realised.
"Hey, uh… Monica? Is there a gun back in the room with you? I wouldn't ask, but I really need it, it's kind of a treasure to me…"
Monica paused, and to Luc's surprise, she actually looked around for it.
"No," she said calmly, "There is no gun here."
Luc sighed. He had gotten so drunk last night that he now had no idea where his gun was. That was a prized possession of his, and it annoyed him that he had gotten so careless both with whom he had chosen to spend the night with and also neglecting to keep the one treasure from his past safe.
"WERE YOU PLANNING ON SHOOTING ME?" She roared, angrier than ever at this possibility.
"N-No, I just… It was from my dad, and-"
"SPARE ME THE SAD STORY, YOU FOOL!"
"It's not that sad, actually. It's kind of entertaining, when you think about…"
"I CARE NOT!" luckily Luc had reached the stairs and was running down to where his friends were before the biggest fireball yet was thrown.
Luc had successfully buttoned his shirt and put on his jacket. Trousers, however, were still an issue. He ran down to the lobby, where his friends and the receptionist were luckily the only people there.
"Luc!" Polana smiled and ran over to hug him, "You look good today! That underwear suits you! The polka dots bring out your eyes!"
"Thanks, Polana!" Luc smiled back to her, and she blushed, "But, guys, we need to get out of here!"
"What is it this time, Luc?" Poppy asked, their voice a little bit disapproving and a little bit amused.
"More like what is she this time?" Ironbody said with a grin.
"A demon," Luc said, "And she'll be down here any second, where's Denzel?"
"Outside," Ironbody said, "He's still drinking. Figured he'd take your gun out and do some target practice."
"So that's where my gun is," Luc sighed with relief, "Anyway, let's get him and leave."
"Gotcha," Ironbody replied.
Luc went over to the receptionist, a young lady with blonde hair in a bun and bright blue eyes. She blushed slightly and fiddled with her hair as he came over.
"Look, my room's been trashed, but…" he handed her all the money he could find in the pockets of his jacket and emptied it from his hands onto the reception desk.
"Thank you sir, but… For a destroyed room at the hands of a demon outlaw, I don't know if that will cover it."
He winked at her. "Listen, I'll still be in the area for a while, so how about if I survive this, I come back here when you're off work and take you on a date?"
She giggled, "Sounds like a plan. What's your name, cutie?"
"Luc Vasteel," he grinned, "When do you get off?" he called back to her as he was moving to leave.
"Eight!" She said, then gave out a little shrill scream as Monica stalked past her. Luc was now running.
He ran round the back of the inn to where his friends had gone, ignoring Monica's enraged screams.
When he turned the corner, a crocodile man in nothing but shorts was firing off Luc's gun at some birds nearby, which scattered one by one to avoid the bullets. His friends were around him, too.
"Hey, Denzel," Luc said, "I'm gonna need the gun back."
"WHY AM I A MONSTER?" the crocodile man, Denzel Croc, roared at no one in particular other than himself.
"Haven't seen old Denz this drunk in a long time," Ironbody muttered.
"Will he be okay? Not that I'm concerned or anything," if Poppy's face could be seen right now, they would probably be blushing.
"He'll be fine. Denz! No time! Gun!"
Denzel turned and smiled as if noticing Luc there for the first time.
"Oh, hey, Luc!" he tossed the shotgun with Vasteel etched intricately onto the side into its owners hand.
"Thanks," Luc could see that Monica was now hurrying over. She had turned the corner and was running down to where they were, where Denzel had been shooting. She threw a fireball and Luc heard a bird give its last alarmed cry before it was burned to death.
"We're gonna miss breakfast at the inn," Ironbody said, "It was only half an hour from now."
"I'm sorry, guys," Luc said, "I was careless, but… Let's get away from this psycho woman and then we'll worry about breakfast."
"Hey, Luc, why are you only in boxers?" Denzel, who was stumbling as he ran, finishing off a bottle of beer, asked, "Are you trying to steal my shorts-only look?"
"No, Denzel, I just lost my trousers in my room. I'll get some new ones later!"
"Or you could… Not do that," Polana said, giggling, "That would be an idea,"
"Then I'd be cold!" Luc laughed.
"You really are a little kid, you know that?" Ironbody smiled.
The five friends escaped into a forest, not stopping until they could no longer hear the screams of Monica the Demon behind them…