Barzon hefted the cupcake cannon and took aim at the first row of joggers coming up the track. The weapon handled smartly; barely any recoil. He couldn't help but smile as the high school runners plowed through a wall of freshly baked goods and frosting. Most tumbled into each other, collapsing in a heap of the cakey goodies.

"Does it have an increased rate of fire?" asked Barzon.

"Sorry, my Lord, but the cakes only bake so fast."

A shame. Barzon set the cupcake cannon aside, switching to the milkshake sprayer. "Let's try this over by the cheerleaders."

By now, word had circulated the school grounds about a disturbance. Barzon guessed they had around five minutes before anyone realized the campus was completely cut off from the rest of the world. The panic would give him more bodies to test his culinary weapons on.

His weapons quartermaster, Malts, teleported them to the bleachers where a row of girls had stopped their formation practice. They were too far away from the runners to see what happened, but close enough to realize they were in a mess of sorts.

Barzon primed the milkshake sprayer, cryogenic mists rising off the silvery blue crown. A light winked on, and he sprayed a continuous stream on the row of cheerleaders. The girls shrieked; most slipped and fell in the growing puddles. Such a shame it all looked like mud. Barzon would have to see if there were more colorful flavors. Something in bright pink or green, like the frosting devastator. That was always so fun to play with.

The cryogenic tank whined, the spray dribbling to a stop. By now, the rest of the students on the track grounds stopped to stare at the chaos. If not for the pretzel barrier, they would have seen where the confectionary assault was coming from.

"Satisfactory, my lord?" said Malts.

"I have a few critiques, but let's keep the show going. Only so much time before we lose our element of surprise."

"Quite right, sir. Perhaps then a go with the pudding pops grenade?"

Barzon grinned. "Why don't we swing by the cafeteria for that one?"

Malts made the arrangement and soon they were surrounded by a sea of pubescent boys and girls. Disgusting. Time to add a little bit of sweet chaos to the mix.


A/N: This short was born out of a game I was playing with several other writers. Using single sentence prompts, we were to write a short story in two minutes. The prompt was "Testing Out the Toys" and this little joy came about as a result.