Excitement and anxiousness

falls over me.

About unis, the rest of the school year

family, friends and relationships.

All seems uncertain,

and it couldn't be more unsettling.

However as the year comes to an end,

I think and reflect.

About the people who,

for better or worse,

have impacted me,

and helped make me.

Those who helped me grow,

those who made me strong.

Those who ripped me into shred,

and those who sewed those shreds.

The question of what if,

lies on my mind.

What if I'd never met you.

What if I'd never done that.

What if I'd done it.

And of the future.

Will I look back, wondering

Why I didn't lean.

Why I still did or didn't do that.

Will I laugh about my,

Girlish thoughts?

Will I look back,

with tears,

wondering where the simple

life went?

Now nothing seems simple.

Looking around is looking into,

a pot of milk.

All is unclear and cloudy.

Confusion hangs in the air,

yet is clouded by clarity

untrue reassurance and pretence.

it's almost like, on the path

to clarity, I need to see

the hidden confusion.