I always like to say I enjoy sports as much as the next guy, as long as the next guy doesn't enjoy sports at all.
For example, yesterday I spent the afternoon doing yard work. When I was done, I asked my sixteen-year-old daughter, "Who won Super Bowl LII?"
"Philly, dad," she told me.
"Yo, Adrian!" I said in my best Sylvester Stallone voice. "We did it!"
And then I started jumping up and down with my arms up in the air like Rocky Balboa at the top of the Philadelphia Museum of Art's steps.
You know the saying: "I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you."?
Well, I'm pretty sure my daughter was laughing at me.
Keeping that in mind, this is the email my brother sent me today:
When you talk to your buddies at work, remember... yesterday was Super Bowl Sunday.
1) It was not the last game of the World Series.
2) It was not the Horseshoe Throwing Championship.
3) It was not a great bowl of soup.
4) It was the Eagles vs. the Patriots, not the Dreamers vs. the Trump Supporters.
5) It was not an excuse to get drunk and riot, although that's what Philadelphia fans seem to think it is.
6) They score touchdowns in football. Not home runs, goals, or holes in one.
7) New England is located in North America, and not where the next royal wedding is taking place.
8) A Hail Mary, at least in football, is not a prayer, although some praying may be involved. What it is, is a long pass into the End Zone.
9) The End Zone is not a reboot of the old Rod Serling TV show.
10) The Eagles won the Super Bowl.
And that's what happens when Tom Brady can't deflate his footballs properly.