We've all had some pretty embarrassing moments I'm sure. I've had lots of them, from tripping and falling to being caught off guard in the weirdest situations. But nothing tops the time I ripped my pants. The experience was so traumatic that it was horrifying, and I considered changing schools it was so bad. Looking back, it sounds really hilarious, but believe me, when it happens to you and you're only fourteen or fifteen years old, it feels like the apocalypse.
Back when I was a freshman in high school (either fourteen or fifteen, I can't exactly remember), I was very self-conscious about how I looked. I would spend hours and hours putting on makeup, and curling my blonde hair. I have bright blue eyes, and while most of my friends called me "gorgeous," I always tried to look better, and spent countless hours pampering my face. I did anything to be popular.
It was mid-April and ninety degrees outside. We were all wearing crop tops. My friends Chelsea and Lexie were wearing skirts. I wore a pair of leggings that my friend bought me for my birthday that were really cool because they had rips going up and down my legs and knees. To add to my style, I had on pink sunglasses (the ones in my profile) and a San Francisco Giants hat turned backwards on my head.
Being fourteen or fifteen, I usually wore tight pants. Really tight pants. Sure, I wear skinny jeans and leggings now, but there's something about being fourteen or fifteen that just makes you overly self-conscious and wanting to wear your pants just a little tighter because you think it makes you look that much hotter and sexier. It was what my friends and I did, which is another reason why I had no intentions of returning those leggings even though they were a couple sizes too small. I wasn't fat or anything, I was actually very skinny, I just liked to wear my pants on the tighter side because they showed off my assets (if you know what I mean). I didn't care if they were so tight they were hard to walk in or breathe in. So I wore those leggings, thinking that they would stretch like all regular pairs of leggings I owned.
I thought I was the shit, but no matter what I wore, my sister Lauren always joked with me saying, "Maddie, aren't your pants too tight?" It was just an inside joke, not meant to be taken seriously at all.
"No," I lied, "they fit fine." I denied it. I was fourteen or fifteen, I didn't think twice about how tight too tight was. Looking good was all that mattered.
Of course I wore those lucky leggings to school. I was in the bathroom with my best friends Chelsea and Lexie, putting on the finishing touches of my makeup before first period. I had a good feeling about today. I looked great and felt great in these leggings, which was perfect for first period because I had a huge crush on my teacher (I won't say his name). He was so young and dreamy and I couldn't help but look into his deep blue eyes and melt. He was probably in his late twenties or early thirties, I wasn't quite sure, but he was really cute. That was another reason why I had to look perfect.
The bell rang, and as usual, I was late to English class. Lexie was already there with everyone else, while I snuck in late. Back then, I didn't realize it, but my face was so chalked up with makeup that I looked like a clown.
"Ms. Phelps," said my teacher. "You're late again."
"Sorry," I lied. "I lost my book."
"Enough of your excuses, Ms. Phelps," said my teacher. "You're just in time for us to begin performing Romeo and Juliet, and since your timing is perfect, you get to be Juliet."
"Ughh... do I have to?" I asked, smiling in his direction. "I'm not very good."
"Yes," he said. "I think you'd make a fine Juliet, and Jeremy here is Romeo."
I took a deep breath and grabbed my book to read Juliet's lines. I hated being in front of everyone, especially in this class. Our teacher put us on the spot and made us act out the parts like we were actors in a play.
It was hard trying to act out and read the lines at the same time. But I wanted to impress him, so I read and moved my arms to try and act out the parts.
There was one scene where Romeo was going to ask and marry me, and I thought about using my earring as a wedding ring prop (my teacher loves it when we use props). So, I took my earring out of my ear and handed it to Jeremy, only to have my typical klutz moment where I accidently dropped it on the floor.
That's when I bent over to pick it up.
And then I heard an ear-shattering
It was a teenage girl's worst nightmare come true.
My pants didn't just rip.
All the luscious goodies I shoved into those leggings came bursting out like someone stepped on a ketchup packet.
"Oh no," I yelled aloud.
"Oh my god," chuckled a girl in the class. "Look, her pants ripped."
That one little moment felt so long. My face burned like hell and my heart beat a mile a minute. I turned my back away from my classmates and threw my hands back in desperation. It was already too late. I saw the hysterical faces of my classmates. Not just laughing, but rolling on the floor laughing. I was a deer in the headlight. As a teenaged girl, my life was over. I would never recover from this.
If it wasn't bad enough, this was the "thong song" year, so I had on a tiny g-string that barely covered my ass.
"Ms. Phelps," said my teacher so kindly, though I could see he was trying not to laugh. "Go to the nurse. She may have some extra pants for you."
I was speechless. Lexie, trying not to laugh, came over and shielded me. She helped me make a getaway as I looked away from everyone. Just look ahead, Maddie, I told myself. Don't look at anyone else. We got a lot of weird looks in the hallway on our way to the nurse's office. When we finally got to the nurse, I had tears coming down my face I was so embarrassed.
"What's wrong?" asked the nurse when we got there.
"I… I ripped my pants," I said.
"Oh no," said the nurse.
I didn't say anything.
"Believe it or not, this happens at least once a year," said the nurse.
"Really?" I asked.
"Yes," said the nurse. "You girls and your tight pants."
I wasn't sure what to say to that. She was probably right, but I wasn't going to admit it.
"Do you have an extra pair of pants or something?" I asked.
"I'm afraid I don't," said the nurse. "You don't have gym clothes?"
"No," I said. And it was ninety degrees outside, so I didn't have a sweatshirt. I couldn't even pull my shirt down because it was a crop top that ended just around my belly button. "What should I do?"
"Maybe your sister has clothes?" asked Lexie. "Try texting her."
My sister was a senior at our school. I texted her and told her what happened. She thought it was hilarious, but she didn't have any extra clothes.
"Maybe you can call one of your parents to bring you a new pair of pants?" asked the nurse.
I thought about it, but I wasn't planning on doing that just yet. Me and Lexie went to the bathroom to staple my pants together. As soon as I took them off, I realized how big the rip really was.
"Holy fuck," I said, looking at the rip from the top of my left ass cheek to the bottom of the right. Pretty much across my whole ass. "They ripped that much?"
I remember sitting in the stall, bawling my eyes out. It had to happen right in front of my hot teacher, didn't it? And of course the whole rest of the class who got to see my ass.
Lexie nodded and tried not to laugh.
We tried stapling my pants, but it didn't work because they were already too small and the rip was too big.
How did this even happen? I have no idea. I heard of Spongebob ripping his pants, but I never thought it could happen in real life. At least not this bad.
Boy was I wrong.
I had no choice but to call my mom. I called her, but she couldn't help me because she worked an hour away. As a last resort, I called my dad. You know how embarrassing it is to tell your dad you need a new pair of pants because yours just ripped? Yeah, it was bad. Even after I hugged the walls to get to the office and get that new pair of jeans on, the whole rest of the day boys were trying to stare at my ass. The rumors got around, and by the time the day was over, everyone knew I had ripped my pants.
I was so happy when that day was over. But I would never forget it. It's not every day your pants rip in the middle of class. The next couple of days, I skipped class. I was too embarrassed to go back. I even tried changing classes, but they wouldn't let me because it was too late in the year. When I finally did show up again, all the boys kept asking, "Maddie, are you wearing a thong again today?" I sat there red-faced and defeated. I couldn't even look at my teacher I was so embarrassed.
During our senior year when we were talking about yearbooks, Chelsea reminded me of that horrible experience. "Hey, Maddie, remember when your pants ripped in English class?"
I just blushed. "Please, don't remind me."
"Oh my god, yes," laughed Lexie. "Remember we spent like all of second period trying to staple them together?"
I blushed. "I still can't believe it happened."
"All the boys were talking about your thong for days," said Chelsea. "At least you can look back and laugh."
"No, I can't," I said. "It's not funny when it happens to you."
"Good point," said Chelsea. "But it didn't happen to me, so I thought it was hilarious."
I kept thinking back to that moment and asked myself why did to happen to me? Was I that unlucky? I still cringe thinking about it. I had the worst luck of anyone.
Then I kept blaming myself… Why did I have to bend over for that earring? Why couldn't I just have kneeled instead? I wanted to take back that moment so badly. When it happened, I felt like my life was over. Looking back at it, I still get embarrassed, but it's nowhere near as bad as the moment it happened. I've never experienced anything more embarrassing in my life, and I still haven't lived that moment down.