I find my self mired in self doubt

Self loathing

I wonder if I hate myself

Fear myself

I find myself fearing me

Doubting myself

Sometimes at least

Happiness is relative and my happiness is always changing

I don't want be sad

To be angry

To be afraid

And sometimes I'm not

I can look in the mirror and speak those same words

Those same delusions

Those same illusions

Delusions are shades off from the truth

How far off they are varies

I find myself protecting me

Trusting me

I can trust myself

Love myself

I know that I love myself and thus

Protecting myself

It's two sides of the same coin. Both are equally valid.

Both are equally real.

Both are delusions.

The truth doesn't matter.

It never did.