I nodded in agreement, a plastic cup of hot coffee held between my hands, bound in front of me now, rather than behind. My eviscerated eye was still swollen and sore, but the painkillers dissolved in the coffee, and the caffeine that was soaking into my addled brain were working off the worst of the pain. I could open it about half way, drastically improving my depth perception and revealing, to my great relief, that it the eye its self still worked.
I opened my mouth to speak, then thought better of it as I watched the rather gruff woman pace from one end of the cell to the other, an expression of deep distress on her face. She had brought a chair and the drink to calm me down I guess, though it hadn't changed any of my clearly unsatisfactory answers to her near shouted questions. No, my name wasn't Benjamin, no, I had never heard of anyone by that name, no, I couldn't tell you why I perfectly fit the description of someone who clearly isn't me.
I swirled the dregs of my coffee and crushed pills in the bottom of my cup, my mind still a whirling mess of memories and disconnect. The woman suddenly rounded on me, and gripped my shoulders. I cringed, still not really with it yet as she bent her head to catch my eyes,
'You're sure? You're really, really sure?'
I frowned up at her, feeling anxiety curling in my chest. Each time she asked, I became less sure, believed my own mind less. I nodded my head a fraction and she shook me roughly,
'Then what is your name? If not Benjamin, then what?'
I shook my head, beginning to panic as my thoughts started swirling,
'I didn't ask for this.' I whispered, hands beginning to shake.
'Ugh!' She growled and stood up again, folding her arms and regarding me with distaste. I looked back at her, close to tears, which I knew would sting if they fell, and tried, really tried, to remember my name and who I was. At that point, I just couldn't do it. The only thing flashing in my fore brain at that moment was the absence, if absence can flash, of my unit.
'Why'd you take it out?' The words just fell out of my mouth without a thought. She looked at me like I was mad and crouched down in front of me, like a teacher might address a child, though I was much bigger than her,
'You- you asked us to.' She frowned
My eyes widened, sending a spike of pain through the left side of my face, I hissed and slapped my hands over my eye. I shook my head at her,
'No, I would never.' I lowered my hands. 'Your lying' I muttered, staring at her as my body began to shake uncontrollably, my brain loosing it's grip on reality as colours began to flash across my vision.
'Put it back!' I shouted and rose to my feet, 'I want it back! Put it back in my head!'
She stood quickly and backed up,
'That is not my name!' I screamed and threw the empty paper cup at her feet and began to wrestle with the rope about my wrists.
'I want to go back! I want it back!'
She was shaking her head as she fumbled for the door handle, an expression of terror on her face. I felt warmth trickling down my cheeks and realised I was crying, tears from one eye and blood from the other, I could taste it as it dripped in to my gaping mouth.
'Please, please!' I begged her, but she was through the door by now and as I reached for the gap she slammed it shut in my face.
It was only afterwards I realised that she too had a lumpy scar around her left eye.