When she first saw him... she liked him.
She didn't think much of him... she knew he was good, but the one? The one that would change everything... no, she was too young.
She could hear the song playing as she got home from work, aged twenty-six, a song of pure beauty.
She froze, listening to the song... it was coming from outside. She turned her eyes and looked out the window, seeing the church just beside her, and the choir of women singing their hearts out to this man that claimed to be God.
She knew she liked him, she had heard of him... but Christians? They acted like he was everything.
How could he be everything...? How could he?
But as she lay in bed that night, the words of the song rang through her head. It was in a language she couldn't understand... yet it touched her deep in her soul.
She wanted to understand... but it felt like it could only be understood on a level she couldn't touch or see.
She went to the church, passing by it that Sunday, and stepped quietly inside... looking around and seeing a priest at the top of the alter.
She didn't realize she had interrupted a mass, and she quickly sat at the back row, watching as he lifted the Eucharist up and proclaimed Jesus was transforming it into his body.
She didn't understand... she had always been a catholic, but only because she was born into it, not because she practiced or anything.
When the transubstantiation had been completed, she watched as the priest lowered the bread, and it wasn't till soon later that people began to get up to accept it.
She was scared... she didn't want to take it... but she felt a powerful presence coming off that body of bread... as if it was really him... that he was really there.
She left quickly.
She hit off the church's outside wall, sitting down on the stairs and crying... realizing that this life she was living was not the one she wanted.
She wanted him... she wanted Jesus...
"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned..."
She spoke these words with tears in her eyes, afraid to be in that confession box and the elderly priest spoke back.
"What is your sins?"
"I... I... I've been a bad person..."
"We are all sinners." The priest spoke back and she only froze up when he said that.
"No." She spoke back, afraid, "I am the worst."
"Tell me what you have done..."
"I... I think I'm starting to fall in love with Jesus..."
"That is a good thing..."
"But I've never even spoken to him..." she said and he continued.
"He is just in the tabernacle, he would love to talk to you..."
"No," she begged, and said again, her voice desperate, but her soul more so. "I've thought bad things, I've not helped others, I've not done good."
"Your sins are forgiven..." he said to her quietly, and she blinked her eyes, surprised.
"Now say..." he continued, "Oh my God, I'm sorry for not loving you and not loving others, help me be more like Jesus and not sin again."
She repeated the words and he forgave her her sins.
Not the priest... but the perfect man working through the priest... as of that moment she felt her rottenness and emptiness vanish... and she just cried.
"Say, five Hail Mary's and one Our Father..." the priest told her, and she nodded her head.
She left the confession box, and walked quietly out to the aisle. The moment she was in sight of the tabernacle, she felt a great fiery passion come from behind it... like a love, a warm burning love and she genuflected quickly before the golden case. She knelt on her knee for a whole minute... just feeling her breath weaken and her eyes becoming misty.
She sat down on the sit to the left, and just felt the coolness, yet otherworldly love penetrate deep within her soul.
She sat there for three hours... the mass coming and passing, and when it was time to receive the holy communion... she got up.
She approached Jesus slowly, the priest holding the small piece of him up and speaking to her.
"The body of Christ..."
"Amen..." she whispered, and took it. She put him in her mouth, and swallowed.
She sat there in the church for an hour more, till it was time to lock up... and just looked at the tabernacle... she felt her body was filling with him... with the holy Spirit's grace... with Jesus's love.
And when the care taker said to her.
"We must close up..."
"Just a few minutes more..."
The man just nodded his head, and the woman kept looking at the tabernacle... she suddenly felt a heat radiate to the left of her, and got up... following it...
It felt like the same passion she had felt when she had knelt before the golden case which kept the Eucharist... and she saw the room have a sign on it saying.
She pushed the door opened and saw him.
And not just him in the Eucharist, but his human body, his warm eyes, his glowing white light.
She landed on her knees, and made the sign of the cross, begging.
"Please, PLEASE DON'T GO!"
He smiled at her warmly, and she felt like she knew then... she was in love.
She blinked her eyes, and when she opened them again... all that was there was the Eucharist.
She prayed and prayed and begged, and began to cry... cry as she was before God.
But after a couple of minutes... she didn't know how, but the church locked up... and she rang out quickly to leave... but they didn't realize she had been kept inside.
She lay on a long aisle seat that night, just crying... and finally heard the song being sung...
And the words... she could understand the ancient language... as if it was her own tongue.
Godhead here in hiding, whom I do adore,
Masked by these bare shadows, shape and nothing more,
See, Lord, at thy service low lies here a heart
Lost, all lost in wonder at the God thou art.
Seeing, touching, tasting are in thee deceived:
How says trusty hearing? that shall be believed;
What God's Son has told me, take for truth I do;
Truth himself speaks truly or there's nothing true.
On the cross thy godhead made no sign to men,
Here thy very manhood steals from human ken:
Both are my confession, both are my belief,
And I pray the prayer of the dying thief.
I am not like Thomas, wounds I cannot see,
But can plainly call thee Lord and God as he;
Let me to a deeper faith daily nearer move,
Daily make me harder hope and dearer love.
O thou our reminder of Christ crucified,
Living Bread, the life of us for whom he died,
Lend this life to me then: feed and feast my mind,
There be thou the sweetness man was meant to find.
Bring the tender tale true of the Pelican;
Bathe me, Jesu Lord, in what thy bosom ran-
Blood whereof a single drop has power to win
All the world forgiveness of its world of sin.
Jesu, whom I look at shrouded here below,
I beseech thee send me what I thirst for so,
Some day to gaze on thee face to face in light
And be blest for ever with thy glory's sight.
And then, there was silence... and she, she was smiling in tears of joy...
For she had found him... she had found the Lord.