what i would give

for people's hands

to stop feeling like poison

on my skin.

what i would give

to let someone take my hand

or hold me

without sobbing inside.

what i would give

to stop pulling away,

and what i would give

to be myself again.

i fear that the contact

of other's skin on my own

will forever distance myself

will forever take me back

to the memories

that haunt me in my dreams.

i fear that my body

will always be wracked in fear

when it is touched

by someone who is not me.

i feel acid on my skin

and realize that it is

just someone's touch

all the time-

just someone's touch.

i long

for someone to heal me

but i know

that no one's touch

ever will.

i am a ticking time bomb-

waiting for someone to touch me

and then for me to explode

or even worse,

to decay inside slowly,



do not touch me

for i will break

if you do.