The Aliyah Chronicles
A/N: Hello again! Like my other story 'TEH ADVINTURS UV ZE COUNCILEH', this story is gonna serve as an inside joke and as such, most outsiders will probably not find this story funny and just find it weird. Read ahead at the cost of wasting your precious time.
Chapter 1: Quizzes and Cannons
Aliyah and her long time best friend, KC the Human, were walking along one of the school's many corridors one sunny afternoon just like any other normal day. Naturally, Fate couldn't let this normal day go on any longer. A huge sheet of paper flew out of one of the rooms lining the corridor and blocked their path. It retreated several meters away, but it was clear that this thing was a menace. A floating pixelated window appeared in front of Aliyah and KC. 'A demonic surprise quiz appeared.'. Aliyah gasped in shock.
"Oh noes!" she exclaimed. "A pop quiz? I haven't reviewed at all! Whatever shall we do, KC?"
"Do not worry, my human companion." KC replied in a tone that was decidedly not human at all. "I will deal with the threat and neutralise it with my totally human powers." With this statement, KC clapped her hands together which promptly caused one of her hands to fall off. Aliyah could only stare dumbfoundedly at the hand now lying on the ground a few inches away from KC's shoes. Before she could ask how on Earth was removing her hand supposed to neutralise the demon paper in front of them, the extremity transformed right in front of her very eyes and before she knew it, a gleaming futuristic techno-cannon has materialised in front of her. It was a beautiful if dangerous piece of machinery. A metal body covered in flashing lights and containing what seemed to be a control panel and a large cylindrical barrel that was also lined with lights. The surprises didn't end there, however. Not by a long shot. An eerie sound emanated from the cannon not unlike that of an engine starting to power up. Lights flickered on as circuit boards started running. Aliyah just turned to look at her friend, not quite believing that this used to be said friend's hands. She was only met with more surprise however, as one of KC's eyes seemed to have transformed into a crosshair of some sorts, staying locked onto the floating paper demon that was several meters away as she was using her remaining eye to set up the cannon. Nodding to herself, KC flicked a few switches before punching a button and stepping back, seemingly satisfied in watching her work unfold. Aliyah turned her attention back to the cannon instead of the newly found revelations about her best friend. A ball of pure light has formed at the base of the cannon's barrel and is slowly starting to ascend the tube. Arcs of lightning have started striking from the ball towards the surrounding area, scorching the walls, floors, and ceiling, hitting whatever was unlikely enough to be in its path. Indeed, it was very fortunate that Aliyah and KC weren't hit at all by the wayward electricity. Plasma scorched the air and filled it with the acrid scent of ozone. The ball of light has reached the end of the barrel. The gun finalised its pre-attack operations. The lights lining the side of the barrel turned on one by one, each one being closer to the end of the muzzle than the last one. With each light turning on, dust swirled and coalesced around the end of the muzzle. Plasma built up at the end of the cannon. Arcs of lightning increased in frequency. A whirring sound was heard and started increasing in pitch as time went on. Finally, the final light was reached. Dust and plasma alike collapsed into a tiny ball at the end of the tube, seemingly stopping in magnitude. The lightning has disappeared. The whirring sound stopped. The flashing lights dimmed in intensity until they were almost out. The cannon seemingly shut down. Aliyah slowly lowered her hands and stared at the cannon, not believing that it malfunctioned and shut down. And she was right. One second, the technological marvel seemed to be almost not in use. The next, a lance of pure light emerged from the muzzle and rocketed towards its target with a resounding boom travelling at immense speeds. The larger floating sheet of paper didn't even get to blink its metaphorical eyes before it was impacted by plasma with an explosive yield of 1.2 megatons of tnt. The strength of a nuclear bomb without its environmental hazards. A containment field flared into existence and struggled to contain the explosion. Eventually, they emerged victorious. KC deactivated the gun and let her hand reattach itself to her arm. Afterwards, she deactivated the battered containment field, releasing a cloud of dust, and she stored them somewhere. Aliyah looked at the surrounding environment. The containment field did a remarkably good job. Indeed, the scorch marks from the arcs of lightning was the only sign that something happened here mere minutes ago. Very remarkable. Well, there was also the burn marks from where the quiz was obliterated by the bla- "What?!" she heard KC scream in disbelief. Aliyah couldn't agree more. The quiz was still alive... It was alive... It survived! Aliyah could only watch detachedly as a window popped up in front of her 'The quiz's ability "Academic Requirement" protected it from damage'. No, Aliyah didn't mind that at all. Nor did she mind that the quiz suddenly appeared a few meters closer. Nor did she mind when it appeared a meter away from them. She only felt muted horror as the quiz reared back, ready to give them the last failing grade that they'll ever receive in their life when it was launched back by a figure which burst from a nearby door. Ian grimaced and gingerly rubbed his shoulders. Maybe punching something really light with the full weight of his body was not the brightest idea he ever had. Nevertheless, he was the only one standing between the pair and the unholy demon. As he readied himself for the bloody battle that was surely going to happen, Aliyah snapped out of the daze that she was in.
"Ian, you can't!", she screamed. "You'll be killed!". KC just nodded in agreement fervently, unable to speak any words at the moment.
Ian just looked back at both of them. "Don't worry". He pulled his trust Bic pen out of his pocket. "I'll be back". With those parting words, he uncapped his ballpen and charged at the quiz. The quiz, not one to back down from a challenge, repeated his action and charged at him. Just as they were both about to hit each other, they lunged into the air, ready to give the other a smack down of the century. Aliyah and KC could only watch in disbelief as Ian used his ballpen to start making writings on the quiz that was trapped below him and defeated it with his perfect score.
"You- You- answered it?" questioned Aliyah lamely.
Ian just stared back at her weirdly. "Well, yeah, it's a quiz. What did you think was I gonna do? Create some sort of magical cannon that fires lances of pure light at it?" he shot back, capping his pen and heading back inside the room he emerged from. Aliyah and KC just fainted in response