Dear Ruby,

I miss you. Everything seems so quiet and dull now. It's like you were the reason my world had colour and sound. It feels like my life is on pause, refusing to go on without you. You will come back to me. They are skeptical, but I know the truth, you wouldn't leave me, not for good. It's amazing how the days just seem to drag on, but at the same time go by in a blink of an eye. I guess that's what happens when the center of your world is no longer around. Time becomes meaningless. Everything is just about waiting now. Waiting to see what will happen, what you'll do. Idon't like waiting, you know this, so why are you making me do it now? You'll have to make it up to me; I'll make sure that you do.

Love Ava

Dear Ruby,

I've been thinking a lot lately, there really isn't much else to do anymore. Everything fun doesn't seem fun without you. I keep thinking back to the first day we met. I never told you this, but the first thing I noticed about you were your eyes. Such a beautiful colour of blue-gray. I remember thinking how amazing it was that even after spending the night passed out on a stranger's floor you still looked so stunning. On the other hand, I looked as if I had just crawled out of a dumpster. It must have been really weird for you, to wake up to find someone staring at you, their mouth half opened but not saying anything. If I am recalling correctly, I even had some of the night before party stuck in my hair. It's a wonder that you ever agreed to my offer of a ride home. Can you believe it has already been almost two years since that day? In some ways it still feels like only last week, while at the same time it feels so long ago. All I know is that on that day you wedge yourself into my heart and you haven't left since.

Love Ava

Dear Ruby,

I don't really know what day it is. I think I might have gone to school a few days ago and I remember someone telling me it was Thursday, but that might have actually been a few weeks ago, I'm not sure. I'm currently in that state sandwiched between being totally out of it. The drugs have worn off enough for my mind to be somewhat clear, but it won't be long before I'm back at rock bottom. When I eventually sober up completely I probably won't remember writing this. It might be a while before I'm sober; the drugs are numbing the pain. Well actually, at some points, I'm too far gone to even remember that the pain exists. The last time I was this high was last March break. I think that will go down as my favourite March break ever. It wasn't exactly happy, but you were there with me. We were both so high, the only thing I could remember was your name. It was the only thing I needed to remember. Though I don't recall much from that week, I know we spent most of it in bed half conscious. I was perfectly content with having nothing else but you and the drugs pumping through my system. But what comes up must come down and when the enviable crash came, I landed gently in your loving arms while I stretched out my own to catch you. I'm scared to get sober now; you're not here to make sure I stick the landing.

Love Ava

Dear Ruby,

"Will you stay with me?" those words have come to haunt me these past weeks. You were asking about me staying in bed with you all day. I answered with "forever" before getting up and leaving. Ironic, I know, but you had passed back out and I had work. I don't know why that moment has stuck in my mind, but it has and I can't get it out, maybe, because as it turns out, forever only lasts three weeks. I don't know how much you remember of the night, but I don't think I will ever forget. You were supposed to meet me at my house for our special date night. When you were five minutes late, I thought nothing of it. By twenty minutes however, I decided to go to your house to see what was keeping you. I think what sticks out in my mind the most are the lights, I saw the red and blue long before I saw the scene. They were carrying a body to the back of the ambulance; I remember thinking how odd it was that someone else was wearing your bracelet. Than it clicked. They wouldn't let me ride in the back, so I had to get a taxi. By the time I got to the hospital you were already in surgery. Right arm broken, left wrist fractured, left leg partly shattered, three broken ribs, punctured lung, and a concussion. They tell me you were crossing the road when a speeding pick-up hit you, sending you flying. They were surprised the impact alone didn't kill you. Your injuries have started to heal pretty well; in fact your wrist is almost as good as new. So why don't you wake up? The doctors told me it would only be a few days, by the end of the week, not too much longer. Now they don't say anything at all. They won't tell me, but I know they are getting worried. Your body is healing, but still they can't wake you. I haven't lost hope yet though.

Love Ava

Dear Ruby,

I'm scared. You still haven't woken up and I don't know what to do. I'm no longer losing myself in drugs; the pain has become a comfort. It's the only thing I have to remind myself of you. Everyone else has moved on and they expect me to do the same. But I can't. The world has shifted back into normalcy, but I don't want it too. How can things be normal when you're not with me? I need the pain to stop the memories of you from slipping away. The doctors tell me that if you don't wake up by the end of the week than there will only be a slight chance that you will ever wake up. Though they could keep your life support running, your parents have agreed with the doctors that by the end of the week, if you're not awake, they will shut them off. I've tried to convince them to give you a little longer, but they won't listen to me. They mourn you like you're already dead, but I won't give up until your heart stops. You need to wake up Ruby, you have to. You can't leave me like this, not now. We are only nineteen, we haven't lived yet. What about all of our plans? I can't do them alone Ruby. I can't live without you. They say young love never lasts, but we were going to be the exception. You need to wake up. Please wake up. I love you.