1. The Break-In

Has anyone ever broken into my house? Only once, I'm happy to say.

I was sleeping peacefully. Suddenly, the light in my room turned on.

Waking up, I saw a man. His whole head was covered with a mask that left his eyes, ears, nose, and mouth open. He held a gun.

"You Barefoot Jenny?"

I nodded.

"Get up!"

I got up.

"Come with me to the living room—and don't try anything!"

There was something odd about his voice, I noticed. It was like he was trying to speak lower than usual. I made a mental note of this.

I went out the door and into the living room. He had turned the lights one. There was an opened bottle of chocolate syrup on the table.

"What's for dessert?," I asked.

"You are!"

"Say, why are you doing this?"

"Revenge! You put my big brudder away."

"And who was your big brudder?"

"Never mind! Now, pick up the bottle and pour it over yourself!"

I stalled. He waved the gun, so I picked up the bottle.

It was one of those large "family sized" spray bottles. I began pouring it over myself, getting it over my head and pajama top. He watched me and smiled. Within a couple minutes, I emptied the bottle.

That's when I got an idea:

I began spreading the chocolate over myself. "This feels wonderful!," I said.

This shocked him! "It does?"

"Oh, yes! So sexy! Did you bring any more syrup?"

"No, just this bottle."

"I think I have a can of syrup in my kitchen. Shall we find it?"

"Yeah!"

I led him to the kitchen.

"It's in one of these cabinets. I don't quite remember which one. But we can start looking."

"OK.'

He opened a cabinet door and began looking.

That's when I struck; I gave him a karate kick!

He fell to the floor, dropping his gun. I kicked him a couple more times, then I went down over him and punched him a few. When I could see that he was well subdued, I grabbed his gun.

"All right now, take off your mask!"

He did this. Just as I suspected, he was a kid of only about 18!

"Well, it looks like you'll be joining your big brudder—in jail!"

He began crying. I called the cops.

2. The Aftermath

He was Peter Wilson. His "big brudder" was Richard Wilson, whom I helped to arrest for rape and murder.

He got 20 years. I strengthened the security at my house—and threw out those pajamas!