1. The Break-In
Has anyone ever broken into my house? Only once, I'm happy to say.
I was sleeping peacefully. Suddenly, the light in my room turned on.
Waking up, I saw a man. His whole head was covered with a mask that left his eyes, ears, nose, and mouth open. He held a gun.
"You Barefoot Jenny?"
I got up.
"Come with me to the living room—and don't try anything!"
There was something odd about his voice, I noticed. It was like he was trying to speak lower than usual. I made a mental note of this.
I went out the door and into the living room. He had turned the lights one. There was an opened bottle of chocolate syrup on the table.
"What's for dessert?," I asked.
"Say, why are you doing this?"
"Revenge! You put my big brudder away."
"And who was your big brudder?"
"Never mind! Now, pick up the bottle and pour it over yourself!"
I stalled. He waved the gun, so I picked up the bottle.
It was one of those large "family sized" spray bottles. I began pouring it over myself, getting it over my head and pajama top. He watched me and smiled. Within a couple minutes, I emptied the bottle.
That's when I got an idea:
I began spreading the chocolate over myself. "This feels wonderful!," I said.
This shocked him! "It does?"
"Oh, yes! So sexy! Did you bring any more syrup?"
"No, just this bottle."
"I think I have a can of syrup in my kitchen. Shall we find it?"
I led him to the kitchen.
"It's in one of these cabinets. I don't quite remember which one. But we can start looking."
He opened a cabinet door and began looking.
That's when I struck; I gave him a karate kick!
He fell to the floor, dropping his gun. I kicked him a couple more times, then I went down over him and punched him a few. When I could see that he was well subdued, I grabbed his gun.
"All right now, take off your mask!"
He did this. Just as I suspected, he was a kid of only about 18!
"Well, it looks like you'll be joining your big brudder—in jail!"
He began crying. I called the cops.
2. The Aftermath
He was Peter Wilson. His "big brudder" was Richard Wilson, whom I helped to arrest for rape and murder.
He got 20 years. I strengthened the security at my house—and threw out those pajamas!