Chapter 7

Trillmon got off the bed and joined Sarah at the window. She turned and faced him.

"It's not incompatible loving a man even as a lesbian," Sarah informed him.

"You're not sexually attracted to me," he pointed out.

"Not like I am toward women," Sarah admitted. "But I love you and I'd marry you and give you kids."

"To please your father," Trillmon remarked.

"Are you as lonely as I am?" Sarah wanted to know. "Don't you want someone to cuddle with and hold hands with?"

"You don't even like kissing me," Trillmon sighed. "I felt you recoil outside Mike's Tavern."

"I wasn't expecting it," she said defensively.

"What about sex?"

"It would a satisfying relationship with you on an emotional level and I'd learn to give you pleasure," she vowed.

"But it's wouldn't be sexually fulfilling for you."

"You know I'm a lesbian," she sighed. "But I really want to make you happy."

"Can I make you happy?" Trillmon wanted to know. "If kissing is a turn off and feels wrong?"

"It's not your fault that I don't like men sexually," Sarah shrugged. "But isn't the key to any successful relationship communication, trust and respect? If we're open with each other and talk to each other and are affectionate with each other we'll be okay, won't we?"

"I don't know," Trillmon said honestly.

"We have stuff in common and we want a life together, don't we?"

"You don't like penises."

"I'll learn to like your penis," Sarah vowed.

"Maybe we could have an open relationship," Trillmon suggested. "I'll be happy being with you and you can have a girlfriend if you meet someone."

"You'd do that?" Sarah asked with amazement.

"You are very special to me," Trillmon told her. "I can't choose who I love and that's why I love you. It will be difficult but you are who you are and I don't expect you to change because I respect who you are."

She gave him a hug. "Thanks, Trill."

"So, I'll be your Front," he said as he broke the embrace and returned to the bed, collapsing on top of it. "So your father can think what he needs to think."

Sarah remained at the window for a few minutes thinking about everything they had talked about since she arrived at his apartment. She stepped toward the bed and pulled the dress off over her head. She was braless and was only wearing a pair of white panties.

"Now you can peek at me," she said.

Trillmon looked up at her and admired her beauty as she slipped the panties down her legs.

"I'm nervous," Sarah admitted.

"Yeah, me too," Trillmon confessed.

Sarah dropped onto the bed beside him, lying on her stomach and looking at him. "Could you get undressed too?" She requested. "To even the score?"

He did what she asked and he lay next to her as she examined his nude body with her eyes before cautiously reaching her hand toward his privates.

"I keep telling myself that penises aren't hard to deal with," She said.

"We'll do okay," he assured her.

"I'm guessing oral sex is pretty much the same," Sarah reasoned. "I mean, a penis and a vagina have the same parts, they're just shaped differently."

"You'll have to remember that you could get pregnant now."

"Yes," she said. "Do you have condoms?"

He leaned over, opened the drawer to his bedside table, and pulled out a package.

"This will take some getting used to," Sarah admitted. Then she reached her hand out and dared to touch his member. "It's not as rubbery as my dildos," she said quietly.

"It's the same concept though," Trillmon told her.

"I've never slept with a man," She confessed.

"I know."

"But suddenly, I want to have sex with you, man."

"Are you sure?"

"Maybe this is the apex of years of soul-searching," Sarah said. "Sleeping with you feels right." She rolled on top of him. "Let's make love," she whispered.

When it was over, they lay cuddling together on the bed, both afraid to ask the other if they were okay.

"Nobody ever told me men stay hard afterward," Sarah admitted. "I thought maybe it deflated like a balloon as soon as you were done."

"Not usually," Trillmon told her. "But the equipment's pretty basic."

"Are you okay?" She worried.

"I'm better," Trillmon answered.

"Yes, you are," Sarah smiled.

"We should go out to dinner with your parents soon," Trillmon suggested.

"Why don't you move in with me?" Sarah said. "Get out of this place."

"Where do you live?"

"I have an apartment not far from where I work," she said. "You'll like it."

"I'm a drunk."

"I'm a lesbian."

"I'm in recovery."

"I'm in flux."

"I'm your Front."

"I'm your girl."

Trillmon leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. "I love you."

"We both should know better," Sarah remarked.

"Too late now," Trillmon replied.