Chapter two: My Anaconda Don't-

Ciara: I don't have an Anaconda! I have a python, you dumb fuck!

Selena: Can we get on with this?

Ciara: Whatever...


Brett didn't see the python for a while after it had crawled on him his first day in Ms. Matthew's insane class. Instead, he got to listen to Jade and Drake argue over every single thing, Ciara call her students 'f*cking dumb f*cks' for talking when she was, and just the overall insanity of her sixth period class.

It was a Monday afternoon, school would be over in about an hour. As Ms. Matthews attempted to teach her students the difference between Deadpool and Ryan Reynolds (how the lesson turned to that, Brett would never know. When class had begun, they'd been learning about the French Revolution), shouts from outside the classroom drew the teacher and classes attention. Ms. Matthews peaked out the window in the door and narrowed her eyes. She gave them all a glare and told them if they got up, she'd superglue their asses to their seats before storming out, heels clicking against the floor.

When Ciara Matthews had gotten to school that morning, she hadn't anticipated she'd be breaking up a fight during sixth period. But because the world loves to kick her while she's down, low and behold, there's a fight in the hallway. Two girls were locked in combat, like two bucks, and strands of hair littered the floor. Pieces of clothing were also strewn about. Each girl was covered in scratches and scuffs from the floor. Ciara's eye twitched. She turned on her heel, walked back inside her classroom and shed her heels, leaving her pantyhose to brave the floors that the janitors had given up on trying to clean. She opened the closet and yanked Geoffrey's tank out. Opening the lid, she reached in and hauled the large python out, giving her students another cold glare, before calmly strutting out like Queen of the world.

The students stared at eachother for a moment before all hell broke loose. They crowded through the door to watch the fight and their teacher attempt to solve it.

Ciara sighed and strutted through, the crowd of spectating students parting like the Red Sea to let her pass. They knew just how volatile her temper was, and they had no intention of getting near that damn python of hers. How the principle let her keep it was beyond them. Right as the quarreling girls were locked in stalemate in front of her, Ciara stuck out her foot and the first girl went tumbling, taking the other one down. When they regained their equilibrium, they found the hissing face of an enormous, yellow and white python staring back at them with beady, black eyes.

It only took three seconds before both girls comprehended the situation, and promptly screamed and backpeddled. " Apologize." the redhaired teacher said. " S-Sorry!" the two squeaked. She nodded, glare on her face. She was still not appeased. " Principle's office. If you're not there in the next five seconds, you'll find this little guy-" she paused to gesture to Geoffrey, "-in your beds tonight." both girls were off their feet and down the hall before Ciara had reached three.

And that's how the fights got solved in this school, Brett soon learned. He pressed a hand to his head and wondered if going gray at seventeen was dangerous.

Probably, considering his teacher is Ciara Matthews..

*Cue Ciara Matthews holding Geoffrey and laughing maniacally in the background*


Ah, that damn Ciara. Never trust her. Or that damn python.

I'll be back with more, when I get another hilarious idea.

-Fire