"Why" and "how could she do this" ran through my mind as tears escaped my eyes. I laid on my ground feeling so limp and helpless. Snow was gone. My best friend and sister. We both dealt with the pain, trauma, and the feeling of being trapped with no happy ending together. Feeling powerless has been the theme of our lives since I could remember being a little girl and since Snowie was 3 years my senior.
I always had my suspicions why mother treated us so poorly. It was easy to assume for Snow; her being the original heir and hopefully the next to the throne. We shared the same father but our mothers...completely different in every way. I feel like an unwanted pawn. I feel like my mother hated be because of the other half of my origin...father. I never met him but heard he was a terrible person inside and out.
Allegedly I was next to be in reign...but I never wanted it . If I had to, I would split the land up with Snowy. I think this land deserved not 1, but 2 fair and good queens.
In a very twisted mindset, I should be thankful that all mother did was banish Snowie. Had to admit...I thought she would be executed. What was to become of me?
I wanted to find her but I wouldn't dare. Even though I was a grown woman at 25, I dare not defy Mother after her her few but precise words. "I will kill you if you do. You no longer mean anything to me. "
Honesty, I never thought I did.
I heard a knock at a door. I made so sound. On the other hand, I would hope it was mother. Maybe she actually had a turn of thoughts and wanted to make amends and realized she did wrong and wanted to put our broken family together.
My vision blurred as more tears overcame my sight.
It was Nan. One of my most trusted servants. She was more of a mother to me than anyone else. She quickly shut my door and somehow managed to grab me into her arms as she sat alongside me on the floor. I was amazed at her strength at the fact she lifted me like a doll.
"You have to get up my dear. You're a future queen. This is a meer taste of what's to come, i'm sorry my sweetheart but i'm only trying to help you to get into the right path"
At this point I wanted to dry heave. My emotions took over my body and no longer my mind. My heart was lost. After her words I suddenly felt more fear than ever and little did I know that this would be nothing compared the fate of my future days that were ahead of me. I mustered all the strength I had left and nudged my face into her right shoulder and let the pain and hopeless come out in the form of heavy tears and my body shaking.
"I can't...I'm so tired of it all."
"You musn't give up," Nan whispered.
"I miss her. She's the only sister iv'e had and my only true friend. It was us two against this hell we call our lives. I'm scared."
Nan looked around.
"My child. Please stay strong for us. We need you. You're the answer and our salvation. The fates planned this to mold you into something great. Please don't let us down. Be our savior. Help us. It all begins with you"
"I don't understand you, i'm sorry" I struggled to say to her. Nan helped me up and said me on the edge of my bed. I struggled to even sit up.
"Sit up my child, like a true and powerful woman". I did my best to prop myself up and it was quite the struggle.
"Mama, I can't do this. I wasn't meant for this." I saw her eyes well up when I used that one word . When Mother wasn't around, I called her what I truly saw her to be, my mama.
"Yes you can. We need you. We had you and the other princess, but now...we have one and that's you, my girl. Make me proud."
She said those three words that would bring the best out of anyone from her sweet and supportive demeanor. I broke down and lost my mind. I sobbed, I screamed, I wanted to punch anybody. I wanted to storm this sad castle and demand to find out who had to do with this; and more importantly, imprison the woman who gave me life for the rest of her days. She held onto my hands tighter and simply whispered the most inspiring words I think i'll hear tonight.
"Don't give up sweetheart, it's just begun. All stories are good and bad , eventually will come to an end."
Something in me took over. Was it rage or was it a new second wind? I don't know but I decided to no longer grieve but make progress.
At that moment, I decided to find my sister.
After I managed to calm down; Nan managed to gather a bag of cheese, bread, meat and a pouch of water . Somehow I managed to put on my traveling dress and my best corset and belt to hold my coins.
We trimmed another belt and made a makeshift garter to fit around my thigh to hold my uncle's dagger.
We then continued to search my room for anything that could be a good start to my temporary life until I found Snow and we came back with a army to overthrow that evil demon known as "The Evil Queen."
After an hour I finally left on my trusted horse, Midnight, my best Friesian horse. Little did I know, this would be the easiest night of my life up into the next year.
Nan and I stood there. She tried to muffle a sob and she held me.
"Listen to me carefully child, go to the Dark Dealer. His castle is on the far and highest hill of the north. On the 3rd night of the wax moon it will be right below. He will teach you everything you need to survive." She then slipped a compass in my hand as she gave me a small peck on my cheek.
"I will mama. What should I give him?"
"Your mother's life," she replied.
I leaned in one more time and gave her a quick hug and whispered "I'll miss you, Mama."
I hopped up on my horse and we rode into the night.