I'm seventeen, almost eighteen. Due to health reasons, I've dropped out high school, but I'm going to get a GED, move far away, and go to college. I don't really have any friends, save one on Quotev, though we rarely find the time to talk and I know precious little about them, and a few I've met through Twitter. I'm still very depressed, my anxiety is almost crippling, and I still have trouble dealing with the things in my past. I try to write and draw to get out emotion, but it's like my depression eats all of my creativity sometimes, leaving me bored and restless and empty with nothing to do. I listen to music a lot, and I avoid people as much as I can. My mother and I now live alone, and I visit my father sometimes, who lives with his girlfriend, my sister, and her three kids. My mom is my best friend, and I adore her. I'm terrified of the future, of myself, of everything. My stepdad passed away and I've seen my brother, his son, one time since. I'm borderline obsessed with YouTube. None of this has anything to do with the story, as I've just realized, but I don't feel like deleting it. This really isn't written for anyone to read, but if you do, and something bad has ever happened or does ever to you, please know things change all the time. For better and for worse. I'll never move on from what happened to me. I still have nightmares about what happened, I avoid the dark and lock all the doors and windows all the time. I think about him constantly. I think about all my old friends constantly. Right now, I'm stuck in the past. And, like I said, I'll never move on from what happened. But I'll get better. I'll learn to deal. I'll learn to live. I'll be happy again, and I'll be sad again, so many more times before I die. One day, I'll be able to actually tell a therapist anything at all. One day, everything will be different. It doesn't matter if it's tomorrow, or next year, or ten years from now, or forty. I'll get there, somehow, someway, and so will you. One day, we'll both die, and we'll move on to whatever comes next- peaceful heaven, rebirth, blissful nonexistence, whatever it is. We can do this, because we have to, and we might as well try to enjoy the ride.