Roses are red,

Violets are blue.

Everyday you wash over me like the morning dew.

Signs show up day by day and it was then I knew.

My happiness was stolen by you.

Depression.

Everyday I wake up, thinking, why should I wake up? What can I do?

Time passes ever so slowly every single day. I dread being alive.

But if I die... Will they cry? Will depression swallow them whole, just like how it did with me? I don't know, but I don't want you gone. I want you to live happily, without a worry. I don't want to see you crying your heart out, face covered with tear streaks that just don't seem to fade away. When I picture that in my head, my heart hurts, and it pulls me back from making that choice.

Don't worry about me, I am happy, to see you thinking I'm living a healthy life. I want to stay happy, remember the past, keep the delightful moments in my life... But recently I can't seem to do that anymore... My memories are fading away...

"Why are you so forgetful?" You ask that whenever I told you I forgot about it. Words caught in my throat I hesitated for a moment before replying, "I told you, I'm a forgetful person."

I look up online daily thinking, am I getting better perhaps? The answer is a definite, 'no'.

I stare up at the ceiling before I sleep, wishing that my fatigue can swallow me and bring me away, even just temporarily. Then again, this happiness I wish to have, might just all be a dream.

Then again, a dream is supposed to be pleasant, right? Why is this dream of mine, suffocating me, choking me? It feels as if something heavy is pressing down on my chest every single day... Won't someone please save me? Or do I have to save myself? Maybe I should just let myself die...

Once again, I woke up with a smile plastered on my face. I look at myself in the mirror and my hands reached up to my face... I want to peel this mask off so bad but it hurts too much to do so.

You yelled at me, for not going outside, for staying at home. I don't like the outside, I like my room, it is my comfort zone.. Why do you have to force me out of here? Don't do this to me please...

The way you talked, the tone you used, hurts me. Maybe now I am just being a burden to you. The fact that I'm alive is a burden to you.

Maybe I should just go.

With my mind blank, my hands suddenly started reaching out to the bottles of medication on my desk.

I held on tight, shut my eyes, shut out the world, and swallowed.